Christian Living

You Will Know We Are Christians

by Jeff Drinnan
11/18/17
For Sale
Author requests article critique

  Message Writer
  Hire Writer

Tweet

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35

Showing God's love is a good way to show Christ, to reach out to others.

The most general type of Christian love is philia, where Christians practice love, care, respect and compassion for each other and for people in need.  Phila is a bond which binds people together. Another kind of love is Agape, which comes from God. It is perfect, unconditional, sacrificial, and pure.

Agape love takes philia a step further, where people not only lovingly show care, respect and compassion, but this love is unconditional. It's not about getting something in return, and compassion and caring is done making sacrifices.

"God bless, God bless, such caring..." said a staff member at the nursing home when she saw me leaning over and feeding my  friend in a Jerry Chair in the hallway. She's seen me caring for Sandi before.

Several weeks ago, as I was leaving, another patient in the nursing home rolled up to me in his wheelchair, shook my hand, and said "I salute you", for caring for Sandi. "I've been watching you", he said.

God brought me through some trials and hardships, much of what I created, to mold me into someone more caring and compassionate, to put myself in others' shoes, and make sacrifices to help others, not expecting anything in return.

Several years ago, I was with some people who used me by wheedling money for neccesary things when they got into a jam because they bought too much unnecessary items. They were selfish and  fought amongst themselves, and sometimes with me. After I got into an altercation with someone in the house, although they weren't in the room when it happened, they legally ganged up on me and the son even summarily took the side of his biological mother who stole from him by keying his bank card number and ordering frivilous things she otherwise could not afford.These people were selfish and mercenary.

Shortly before I broke company with these terrible people, I lost my job of more than ten years, and became homeless for a short season. I was broken, and during my brokenness, people answered my call for help, and, like Evangelist in John Bunyan's The Pilgrim's Progress, pointed me to God.

I came to realize that there are other people out their hurting as I was.

Almost three years ago, I befriended Sandi, whom I ended up taking to the ER where she was diagnosed as having a brain tumor. Lung cancer, stage IV, had metastsized to the brain and the liver. Sandi was transferred to the hospital for a few weeks. She needed someone to take care of her.

Sandi became chronically tired, and we stopped going places together. I almost went my own way, but I didn't.  I started taking more seriously what someone said some time ago "Jeff, why don't you get a real girlfriend?"  Sandi wasn't fufilling my needs. I had been growing in the faith, and deep inside I asked myself "what about her needs?"

A month or two ago Sandi took a turn for the worse, and is now in a nursing home. I put myself in her shoes and decided to camp out at the nursing home.

But as 10th step in the 12 step program, as found in Celebrate Recovery warns:
 
10 We continue to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.  "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!" 1 Corinthians 10:12

At the nursing home, one of Sandi's roommates is very difficult. I'm finding it hard to be gracious to her, to find the line to not enable bad behavior and protect Sandi's interests, but not cross that line and lash out at her, as I recently did when she was acting childish. I sternly told her "the world doesn't revolve around you" and "you are selfish."  I apologized to the nurse, who told me I'm not allowed to argue with the residents. When Zaza Gabor (the roomate) later stuck her nose in our business, I bit my tongue and just ignored her, even when she was running her loud, fog horn (from smoking) mouth when I was on the phone. Maintenance moved her furniture around, and she now can get in and out of where she wants to go without encroching on Sandi's space.

After the furniture was rearranged, Zaza remarked "this arrangement is working out."

The biggest challenge is loving un-lovable, obnoxious people.We can't do this on our on, but through God, by keeping in communion with Him through prayer, His Word, and worship. Showing agape love can only be done by plugging into the power of God.

Even with her Brain tumor, Sandi is very cooperative and amicable with the nursing staff. What she says, being out of sorts, is often funny. When an aide turned her to clean her up, she said "do I have to stay like this?" The aide said it won't be long. "OK", Sandi answers. Sometimes Sandi will say, mainly to me "get out of my face" and recently, "Could I have my face back?" When I stand over Sandi with a drink, she'll remark "are you going to stay here all day?" This sarcasm, although mixed with a little confusion, uneasyness, assures me that Sandi's personality is in tack.

You will know we are Christians by our love.

"We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God." 2 Corinthians 5:20