Devotionals

Lord I Do Not Understand

by Dr. Henderson Ward
07/17/16
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My mind is unsettled, my soul is in a state of heightened awareness, I am spiritually confounded.

Lord, I sit here dumbstruck because events around me have my mind in a whirl, and if I am honest Lord, I am a bit at a loss. Things are just not suppose to be like this. No, not at all. So help me, Lord, to understand. Everthing tells me that what a person sows that person is suppose to reap. But it is not happening, Lord, and I can’t seem to move on.

You see, Lord, I have been planting tomatoes for as long as I know, and my pals have been planting all sorts of vegetables. In every case we are reaping exactly what we sowed. Truth to tell, Lord, I thought recently that I had planted carrots, but now I see that thyme is growing, and when I checked my cupboard I see the carrot seeds that I thought I had planted. Lord, even when I made a mistake I still got exactly what I planted.

Lord, I heard the gospel preached, and I submitted to your call for redemption, and committed my life to you because you told me “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” (Matthew 11:29) Lord my soul needed rest, my spirit was broken, I felt crushed and traumatised by the world. Truth Lord, I felt useless and utterly unworthy of your grace and mercy because I know that I was bad, worse than bad; I was a reprobate heading for destruction. I knew it, others knew it and Lord, you knew it too.

And yet, Lord, you, knowing all this brought me to you, you cosseted me with your love, you filled me with your grace, you wiped my slate clean with your mercy, you even elevated me to a heavenly place with you and the saints, and not once did you condemn me, you did not badger me for my many faults, Lord, you dried my tears and took away my sorrows. And Lord, you know I haven’t earned any of this, I am reaping what I did not sow and Lord, I do not understand.

For my many sins you gave me peace and comfort.

For my waywardness you showered me with love and plenty of blessings.

For my many fears and insecurities you underpinned and supported me with your mighty arms.

Lord, through your Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, you are showing me something that all believers are experiencing. You are showing me that you do not do anything by half measures, Lord, and I am so humbly grateful. Lord, I did not expect to have so much joy, so much deep-seated happiness, so much divine peace that I can scarcely contain my heart from bursting.

Lord, you told me, “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.” (Psalm 55:22). Lord, I did and for the past 50 years you have kept these promises, in deed all your glorious promises are unshakable, timeless and applicable to all those who put their trust in you. Lord, I still do not understand how you do it, but in your mercy and grace I ask that you help me to keep hanging on.

All I ask , in addition to your blessings and love upon all believers in Christ everywhere, is that you, Lord, help all those like me, who may not fully understand the ineffable workings through your grace, but cling to the simple promises of redemption and glory through faith in Jesus Christ. “ For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.” (Psalm 84:11)

Enough said.

Books by this author you may wish to read.

THINGS EVERY CHRISTIAN SHOULD KNOW (e-book)
Volume 1 – Five tough facts to be faced
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004YX5NSI

STAND UP TO THE DEVIL  (e-book)
Volume 1 – You must first identify him
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005BQVLSS

BASTARD: A STORY OF REDEMPTION(e-book fiction)
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006OF3SD6

ONE MINUTE TO MIDNIGHT ON GOD’S CLOCK (Hard copy)
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B002X78D16

ONE MINUTE TO MIDNIGHT ON GOD’S CLOCK (e-book)

http://tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-60799-630-9