Poetry
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Who have I let myself become with them?
Value extracted from their approving reflections
Stature gained from inducing the right inflections
So much work to be who I am with them.
Polished in all my approbo projections
Fogging conclusions to their undesired inspections
So why the need for the me I am with them?
Sustained by the chorus of amused laughter
Standing superior to their volleys of vapid blather
I need to be beyond the reach of them.
Gardening each compliment I gather
Get one to grow to then confirm how much I feel I matter
Only one battling the hollow, empty feelings inside
Could have made other’s opinions of me hallow
But the truth I seek requires that I dive deep
So I forfeit the comfort of wading in heart’s shallows.
Why the dread to be the me I am alone?
Lining up distractions from all my glaring defects
Any decent view blocked by pile of my rejects
I need to know why I work so hard to never be alone.
Past longing, now it’s desperation that I detect
Sensing something greater I was built to reflect
How will I know my heart if I never spend any time alone?
The endless ugly feelings I can’t even start to evict
Anger bursting out in ways I’m never able to predict
So I turn to face the me I am alone.
Free to chase down any pleasure that I could
Only felt true freedom when I did what I knew
I should I once felt so hollow & empty inside
I spent so much time pursuing the applause of the shadows
But now I know that I have never been alone
And I plead with my old them to abandon their ornate gallows
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