Women

When All Your Relationships Go Sour

by Agatha Mangwende 
04/06/16
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Chuck Swindoll wrote a profound statement that says, “Life is ten percent what happens to us, and ninety percent how we respond to it”.

I enjoy reading about women from the Bible and learning about their ‘ten and ninety percent’ stories.

One of my favourite characters is Sarah (Genesis 12 to 23). Here is a woman who had every negative relationship imaginable, pushed at her. And yet in 1 Peter 3:3-6, we read of Sarah’s submissiveness and humility towards her husband, Abraham, to the extent of calling him, ‘Lord’. ‘The holy women of old trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands’, the scripture reads.

Sarah’s story:

Sarah is most remembered for giving birth to her son Isaac, while she was already an old woman. She had remained childless most of her married years; and most probably had to endure the ridicule and contempt of her in-laws. In some cultures, a daughter-in-law who cannot conceive is considered as useless.

In such a scenario, who would blame her for getting excited when Abraham mentioned that they were to leave Haran and go to the promised land of Canaan? (Genesis 12:1-6). This meant a new beginning for Sarah, a new community, away from the stares and whispers of the familiar faces.

But as we read further, we realize that childlessness was just the beginning of Sarah’s relational problems. Next, was a severe famine in Canaan that led Abraham and Sarah to seek refuge in Egypt, where a new set of problems arose. Where do you run to when you feel trapped, powerless and abused?   Had Sarah realized that Abraham was going to trade her to Pharaoh’s harem, (Genesis 12:10-20), she would have preferred to stay under the scornful eye, but protective arm of the in-laws.

The pressure of trying to meet expectations can sometimes lead us to make the wrong choices. In Genesis 16, we see Sarah giving her servant Hagar to Abraham, so that through Hagar, a child could be born into the family. That should have worked; except the once humble maid, after falling pregnant, suddenly became scornful towards her mistress. What a cocktail of sour relationships this turned out to be for Sarah! Maybe, this turn of events to the undesirable, made Sarah more hopeful of having a child of her own womb. ‘What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see’, (Hebrews 12:1).

It was at this stage of faith in God, that Sarah finally had peace in her heart. At a later stage, even when Isaac was finally born to Sarah, Ishmael, Hagar’s son, being the older son of Abraham, also became scornful towards Isaac. Sarah’s relational wars did not come to a sudden end, but she knew the God she had put her trust in and believed that He would fight her battles for her.

‘I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him against that day’.                           2 Timothy 1:12b

There is a God in heaven who is able to do this for you, if you will only put your trust in Him.

Previous Posts:

http://agiema.blogspot.com/2016/03/the-third-person-in-relationships.html

http://agiema.blogspot.com/2016/03/why-relationships-are-complex.html