Healthy Living
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Pleasant words are like
a honeycomb, sweetness
to the soul and health
to the body. [Proverbs 16:24]
***********************
"How come it doesn't
taste as good, LORD?"
"What,
child."
"My new MOUTHWASH?
I like my old kind,
better!"
[SILENCE.]
"Am I boring You,
LORD?"
"No,
My precious."
"It's just when you're
single, you don't have
anybody to talk about
mouthwash, with."
[SOLEMN NOD.]
"Ya know.
I have friends and
coworkers, but they'd
think it was weird if
I started discussing
mouthwash."
[SOLEMN NOD.]
"I understand,
Mein precious."
"Well, that's not true.
I gotta a couple friends
who wouldn't think it
was weird. My sister's
a snob, so she wouldn't
want to talk to me,
at all. She refuses to
read my writing. She
thinks it's stupid."
"She loves you,
Mein precious."
"Pooey, LORD!
She's a darn snob!"
[SILENCE.]
"So, anyway.
The dentist keeps tellin'
me to not use the alcohol
based mouthwash anymore,
and just to use the non
alcohol stuff. But for one
thing, it's more expensive,
and number two, it tastes
yucky."
"Yes,
My kin'der."
"Yeah, LORD!
That non-alcohol stuff
just tastes wimpy. It
just doesn't make my
mouth feel clean? And
then I got a whole big
bottle of it, and now I
gotta use it up cuz it
was more expensive than
my ole' Walmart brand
of my ole' alcohol
stuff!"
"In life there
are many trials,
Mein bubbe."
"I got this whole big
BOTTLE of it, at the
dentist's, and now I
gotta use it all up cuz
it was so expensive!"
[NOD.]
Two angels have entered
His Presence in the Throne
Room. One is carrying a
huge bottle of Listerine,
and spilling some all over
the Gold Tile floor.
"But Ya know what I
did, LORD?"
"What,
O joy of
My life."
"I bought one a' my ole'
Walmart brands with
all the alcohol it in, and
mixed it in with the
yucky, expensive stuff!"
[NOD.]
"So now it TASTES
better, LORD! The alcohol
just gives mouthwash more
of a PING! A ZING!
Ya know what
I mean?"
"I understand these
things,
My beloved."
"I don't think You do,
LORD. I don't think
they had mouthwash
in Your Day."
One of the angels,
named Flossie, is holding
the left side of his
little mouth woefully.
The LORD asks what
has besought him, and
Flossie's buddy, named
Peppermint, speaks up
for him. He replies that
Flossie wanted to try some
Earth food while they were
down on Assignment, and
bit into a big hard nut. Now
his tooth hurts. The LORD
tells them both to get
back down to Earth, and
finish up their Assignment.
Peppermint glances at Flossie,
and asks what Flossie should
do about his poor tooth.
The LORD replies that
when they turn around
and skiddadle back to
their Assignment, that
Flossie's tooth will stop
bothering him.
Peppermint asks if the
LORD could make some
softer nuts just for
the angels, since they
have more sensitive teeth than
humans.
The LORD tells Peppermint
to stop thinking about
food, and skiddadle
back to Earth in a jiffy.
Flossie asks if he can
have a Jiffy peanut butter
sandwich before they
take flight.
The LORD says no,
and tells them that
they have four Heaven
Seconds to get their
wings in gear.
"So what was I talking
about, LORD?"
"One of your burdens,
My precious."
Flossie and Peppermint
sprout their wings, and
take flight at the
Throne Room Door.
Their wings are pale green,
and have the scent of
spring mint. At the Door,
Flossie turns around with
a woeful face and asks
the LORD again about
the peanut butter sandwich.
The LORD says no, and
tells him that he and
his buddy have five minutes
to highwing it back to the
dentist office, and their
Assignment.
"So, LORD!
I ain't gonna buy that
expensive non alcohol
stuff anymore! There's
just no TASTE to it!"
"I understand,
My child.
The ping
and
the zing."
***********************
Remember your Creator
in the days of your
youth before...the years
draw nigh...and the
grinders cease because
they are few. [Ecclesiates 12:1-3]
Copyright 2015.
*********************
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