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Mistaken Identity
© 2014
by
Stephen A. Peterson
For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?
Matthew 5:46 (NIV)
“The problem with you, Lieutenant,” Captain Sanders began, “is that you want to be liked by your subordinates rather than command and take control.” Standing at attention as I learned from four years of ROTC, I knew I had no choice but to take being chewed out. After all, I was a newly commissioned officer with only two months active duty experience. The Captain treated me like I was stupid beyond salvation. It appeared Army life was going to be intolerable. His demands often seemed irrational making me feel increasingly suspicious of his intentions. I subsequently began looking for reasons for Captain Sanders’ behaviors. Maybe he disliked me because I am a minority of color; a ROTC scholarship graduate because he was a West Point graduate; because I had a high grade point average in college; because I had a different command style than his.
I felt it a blessing that the Battalion chapel was just across the street from Battery Headquarters. Every opportunity around 1230 hours I would escape from my office to the quiet atmosphere of the chapel. There I would rush to a pew, kneel, then visit with God in a desperate attempt to try to find out from God way I was so dysfunctional and if He could please straighten me out somehow, some way.
Every time I visited with God I prayed for answers. As I was beginning my third month in the Army, I was certain I was going to have a nervous breakdown if God did not help me. Tears came to my eyes. I prayed for courage and peace. I prayed for wisdom and understanding. I prayed for patience and His help.
On a Sunday afternoon, the Battalion Chaplain, Major Francis Kagel, recognized me kneeling holding my head in my hands. “Lieutenant? Lieutenant are you okay?” Startled I looked up at the Chaplain without saying a word.
Once again, Major Kagel asked: “Lieutenant, you do not look too well. Do you want to talk about it? Come on, to my office, Lieutenant. As ordered, I followed Major Kagel to his office. “Lieutenant, how long have you been in the Army?”
“Chaplain, I been in the Army after my Officer Basic Course going into my third month,” I replied.
Gosh, Lieutenant! You don’t look old enough to be in the service. How old are you?”
“Chaplain, I am 20 years old.”
“My goodness! You’re younger than a lot of the men in your Battery. Say what Battery are you assigned to Lieutenant?”
“Delta Battery, Chaplain.”
“Oh, Captain Sanders’ Battery. You’re under a superb officer! He’s an excellent leader! He’ll teach you a great deal of the skills you will to be successful!”
I was stunned. I could not believe what I was hearing.
“You’re Lieutenant Peterson. Oh, yes! He has mentioned you to me. He tells me you have great possibilities to be an outstanding officer. I know he’s tough on new Lieutenants! Hang in there, son! Listen to Captain Sanders! He’s been to Nam four times and has a lot of combat experience. He has turned out some outstanding junior officers and Battery Commanders. He’s scheduled to be promoted in about a year and will likely be a Battalion Commander shortly after he is promoted to Major.”
After roughly 25 minutes, I went back to the D Battery area less fearful and with confidence. Within six months, I went to the chapel to spend some quiet time with God in Thanksgiving and praise for what I considered my transformation.
In month seven, Captain Sanders called me into his office. “Have a seat Lieutenant Peterson. Let’s talk. Lieutenant, you’ve been in this Battery now for more than seven months. I’ve noticed marked improvement in your confidence, leadership skills, your work effort as well as your work with your subordinates. Since this is your first year in this unit, I am required by Army regulations to give you an Officer Efficiency Rating (OER). While in the Army, your OER’s will be a valuable tool for you and your advancement up the ranks. Take these evaluations seriously, Lieutenant! Do you have any questions, Lieutenant? Now is the time to ask any things you wish.”
“I do have a question, sir. What is your formula for success as an Officer?”
“Be fair, be firm, be decisive, be faithful!” responded Captain Sanders
“Anything else, Lieutenant?”
“No, sir!”
“Lieutenant, continue to work hard! Now get out of my office and get back to work, Lieutenant!”
I immediately stood up, took a step back, then saluted. As I rendered my salute, I could see what appeared to be a smile. I was stunned. In the seven months I was assigned to his, Battery, I had never seen Captain Sanders smile. Ever! For the first time, I left Captain Sanders office with a sense of accomplishment and confidence. I immediately left the Battery area for the chapel. In the months of prayer, I never once prayed for Captain Sanders. I did so on this visit. I also asked God for forgiveness for being so self-absorbed and narrow-minded.
So many years have passed. I nearly had a 37 year Army career before retiring. I lost track of Captain Sanders. However, he and several other officers and non-commissioned officers remain in my prayers. Whenever I experience personal or professional difficulties or crises, I start by praying for Captain Sanders. Then I processed down my list of individuals with whom I experienced difficulties with or those who challenged me to better myself. It is at this point I come to realize that I have a great deal to discuss with God…and more to thank Him for. I especially thank God for the challenges and character building tasks He allowed to come my way.
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