Humor
Whupped By Fearsville
Friday Night’s Softball Game
Reported by Yours Truly
Well folks, we lost both games of the double hitter Friday night, but we came away with our dignity intact. Lie like a rug, don’t I!
Fearsville Baptist was just too good for us. They caught everything we hit at them, which was very little, and they hit almost everything over our heads. We just didn’t have the chutzpah to hang with the big “dawgs”. Our Oldies-but-Goodies did the best they could with so little energy to fight off the extreme humidity. Iron pills will be issued to our team members commencing Sunday right after church.
“What Was That” Pat Haga and “Tic-Tac” Trish Thompson, both finally made it to second base in the same game! Of course, for either of them to even get a hit is something in itself, but I don’t want go there.
“Iron man” Jack Sheets must have lost 10 pounds or so while pitching both games. His sweat-ball was un-hittable. (Mostly because they never reached home plate!)
At catcher, “Waddles” Carley Cupp keep falling over from the squat position. The umpire keep trying to pick her up, (in more than one way, the old Geezer!) She was catching because “Lightning” Jeni Harrison was benched the first game for being late by her (slept on the couch that night) husband and coach, “Missile Mike” Harrison, who by the way, was often seen sauntering around in the outfield stargazing.
Two of our lady warriors, “Uptown Girl” Jessica Reel and “Daughter of Flash” Rosie Morong were looking good out there. You know, poodle skirts, ponytails, bobby socks, and mohair sweaters. Proud of those gals!
“Downtown” Faye Reel was feeling her oats! She tried to teach the third base player not to stand on “her” base when she was running for it. Gave her a hip bump that rocked her world! (You graaa girl!)
“All-star” Joey Robins, our shortstop, was everywhere at once. Well, except where the ball was, that is. He should have had scuba tanks on with all that diving for the balls.
“Fraulein” Nikki Robins hung out at second base, polishing her nails and combing the hair on her legs.
“Jack Flash” Haga’s feet were turning and burning so fast we had to pour water on them to cool them off. With all that speed, one of these days he will make it to first base if he can ever hit the ball past the pitcher.
Our first baseman, “Rocket Rocky” Cupp has decided to use a bushel basket next game to try and snag some of those errant balls thrown his way cause that little ole glove ain’t good for much; least not on his hand!
Well there it is folks, the sad but true report of a midsummers night fiasco, or exercise in futility and mayhem! A report on the shenanigans of old Hippies and younger wanna-be Baby Boomers!
Excuse me while I retire to my support stockings and Geritol and a wee nappie. Don’t forget to take out the trash and feed the dog, or vise versa…who can remember at my age.
Till next time I remain yours truly,
“911” Lucian Thompson…reserve extraordinaire
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I just love poking fun at, and with, my fellow team members. It is done in a spirit of fun and camaraderie and received that way. You know God must have a sense of humor. We are made in his image and we carry His nature when we are in tune with Him. Sometimes we need to lighten up and enjoy each other with a merry heart. A merry heart turns away wrath. Kinda hard to be mad at someone when you are laughing with them, isn’t it?
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