Encouragement
Donald was a strange boy. His body type and social presentation spoke of Baby Huey while his eyes told a tale of pathos and vulnerability. Unfortunately for him, no one seemed to miss reading the invisible “kick me” sign on his back as he just seemed to bring out the worst in school bullies and the bully in all of us. I always felt kind of sorry for him but never enough to stick up for him. Until that one day …. I was running up the steps trying to adjust the ready made tie I carried with me for such moments as I was 5 minutes later than my usual 10 minutes late when I was almost bowled over by a hysterical Donald. He was chalk white, shaking feverously and, with tears gushing down his face, desperately declaring that “I can’t take it anymore”. It took several more minutes to determine through tears and murmurings that they had put a dead pigeon in his lunch bag. He was deathly afraid of animals and doubly terrorized by dead ones. He had been pushed over the breaking point and it was obvious that such was the intent of this act of cruelty. I could not calm him and he ran off into the street never to be seen again.
I can’t seem to recall what went on it my head as I hurried to class. I do remember never having been that angry before. It was a different anger that pumped my blood so furiously. It was so powerful that it overcame my great fear as I burst into class to confront a group of bullies who were the toughest kids in the school. They had the demeanor of junk yard dogs and the instincts of a wolf pack and I knew they were responsible. I could hear and feel my heart pound as I demanded “Who did that to him?” With serpent sarcasm the lead wolf said “Who wants to know?” … “The guy who‘s gonna make you eat that pigeon” left my mouth before I could stop it as if someone else were speaking the words. The undeniable fact that anyone of them could toss me out the fifth floor window simply had no significance as, one by one, I stuck my finger in their faces and demanded “Was it you?” I could smell and taste their fear as each one of them looked to the floor and meekly stepped back and I was as afraid of me as much as they were, if not even more.
Donald never came back to school after that day and my relationship with the bullies was never the same either, nor was my relationship with myself. Though I had no idea how I knew, I was certain that I was going to be OK in that situation for there was a power greater than my foes and my fear. That power had found a home deep within me so that even as I turned towards other “realities”, it never completely left me. It would not be until many years later that I would encounter that power again face to face after an attempt to take my own life. This time it told me I was going to be OK not only in that situation, but in all situations for the rest of my life and beyond. Joyously, I surrendered to it as He loved me first, and when nobody else seemed to. I offer you His Peace and His Rest and His Hope, in Truth and in Love.
Desperado 8-15-04
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Awesome testimony... very, very encouraging. I too have been to the point of feeling so totally alone. I didn't attempt to take my life, but it is at a time like that the Lord's Light shines the brightest. Thank you for share this touching story. My prayers are lifted high for Donald Day... wherever he may be today.
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