Healing
Father, I take this time to give you all of the honor and all of the glory. Lord, you’ve been so good to me and I can’t help but to praize your holy name. Jesus, you died for me and for that I’m very grateful. You are the lover of my heart and redeemer of my soul. You are my way maker and problem solver. Lord, you are just my all and all. I love and adore you so much, but I know my actions don’t show it. Father, you are my greatest inspiration but I’m your worst example. Lord, I mean this from the very depth of my heart, I never meant to hurt you.
Jesus, I see your power every morning you allow me to wake up. I see your glory every time the sun shines on me. I feel your presence every time the wind blows near me. Yet, I still choose to go my own way and do my own thing. Father, your grace helps me every day to deal with the problems of this world. Yet, I still take your grace for granted. I find security in you and a place to rest my head. I know, when the world is closing in on me, I can find peace and comfort in your loving arms. Jesus, I know all of this but my life example don’t reflect what I know. Lord, I pray you understand that I never meant to hurt you.
Jesus, sin is very present in this day and age. So much temptation is out lurking around waiting on its next victim. Lord, I know you can cover me and help me to resist temptation but I fall for it every time. Lord, I try to prepare myself to not get caught up in sin but I still fall for the same old tricks. Jesus, I can’t lie to you and say the temptations don’t feel good or that I don’t find temporary relief in the midst of this. Cause I do! I really for a moment feel as if I’m on top of the world. That’s exactly what it is, for a moment, cause I end up back in the same position I was in before I fell for what the enemy put my way. I won’t allow myself to give the enemy all of the credit for what I’ve done. He doesn’t have that much control. Lord, to be honest some, if not most, of the stuff I give in to is because I want to do it. I could have found many escapes but that’s not what I wanted to do. Lord, I tell you all of this to just let you know that I never meant to hurt you.
See, my actions are a reflection of this messed up flesh of mine. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. It’s my heart’s desire to not give in to sin but sometimes I just can’t help myself. Sin is presented sometimes in a way that just can’t seem wrong. Sometimes the temptation is so glorified that I can’t mentally accept that it’s not of God. As you know, I’ve tried justifying my sins for so many years. Trying to believe what I was doing was keeping me from doing something worst. Lord, but through it all, I don’t do this in rebellion against you. Lord, I love you so much! I really care about you and how you feel. That’s the reason guilt is all around me, right now. Father, I know how good you are to me. I know how you opened doors that were never there to begin. I’ve seen how you made a change in my life to be something more than what I can imagine. Yet, I can’t seem to control my flesh. Lord, I need your help. I need you right now more than ever. Lord, I feel my actions aren’t speaking what’s really in my heart. My actions say I don’t respect you. They say that I don’t care about what you think of me. They say I’ll prefer to live for this world instead of working for you. That’s not true at all. Lord, I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you! I refuse to lose you! Jesus have mercy upon my soul and forgive me for my sins. I make this plea just to say, I never meant to hurt you.
Jesus, I get down on my knees and reach up to you. Father, your love must not leave me. I can’t make it in this cruel world without you. I can’t walk that path ordained for me without your direction. I can’t move to that next level without your hand guiding me along the way. Jesus, I’ve tried it on my own before and couldn’t succeed. I know my works say I want to do it on my own but Lord, please hear me now. I can’t, Father, without you with me every step of the way. Jesus, my so-called friends have left me to just live in my mess. My family is happy I’m not going higher than they are right now. My enemies are rejoicing to the fact I’m stuck where I am. Jesus, I know you’ve called me to be more and I want to be what you say I am. So I got to become a murderer for you. I have to kill this flesh of mine and denounce me in every way. My flesh has caused a lot of separation between us. Lord, I have an urgency inside of me. I need you to make my heart your permanent home. I know you’ve come many times to live within me but my sinful nature evicted you without a thirty-day notice. Lord, please forgive me and allow me to make it better. You must realize, I never meant to hurt you.
So, Jesus, I must have your spirit to come in me and help me with this flesh of mine. I can’t keep on sinning against you and claiming to love you. I can’t keep giving in to temptation and expect you to be there every time I call. I can’t keep saying I don’t care with my actions and want you to care for me. Lord, my heart’s desire is to be with you and spend eternity. So, again I ask you to forgive me for all I’ve done against you. I pray you find it in your heart to accept me and work with me to be what you have called me to be. Lord, I long for your love to instruct me on how to live a life pleasing to you. In your name, I receive the power I need to defeat Satan but more importantly ME. Jesus, I give you all of the glory and honor. I’ll praize you for all you have done for me, all you are doing for me, all you will do for me, and for who you are. Thank you for your grace and mercy and remember . . .
I Never Meant to Hurt You
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