Christian Living
I am truly blessed to live in one of God's creative masterpieces. Daily I am filled with awe by how He fashioned the land and scenery around me. South Central Alaska is an incredible place, one that will frequently leave you in awe...even at 3 in the morning. Now, there are times of the year when in the wee hours it won't really be dark outside...at all. It's not called the land of the midnight sun for no reason. But winter is the exact opposite. You haven't experienced dark until you've experienced an Alaska dark. It's deep. Thick. There are times you literally feel like you can't see 4 feet beyond your nose. But not this morning.
It's 3:23am as I write this, a rather unconventional time for me to compose an article. But then, these are rather "unconventional" reasons to write. Normally at this time I'd be fast asleep dreaming about some odd, barely explainable adventure (which I was) but not this morning. Typically my body and mind would be dead to the world around me, happily numbed to reality. But tonight, er, this morning, is different...and I'm glad!
Every once in a while my poor bride has a rough time staying asleep. The result can be a night of restlessness for her where she feels every move I make in our bed. On nights like that she very reluctantly asks if I'd mind sleeping on the couch. She hates to ask, and at times I'm not too keen on complying...but my love for her wins out and I sluggishly make my way out to the living room. There's a bit of a ritual that follows which involves a visit to the restroom, a deep stretch, and a glance out the kitchen window. This time of year, the glance is to check for snow.
This morning my glance out the window wasn't without its reward. In my mostly groggy (nearly unconscious) peek I was startled awake! There mounded on the back porch and sagging off the trees was at least 8 inches of fresh snow! Oh, man, do I love snow! This was great too see, and I was the first one in the family to get to take it in (the rest of my tribe will be ecstatic in about 4 more hours). The mounds were piled all over the rails and steps. It sparkled and glistened...in the dark.
There are no stars this morning, it's heavily over cast. There are no street lights. No glow from a nearby highway. It's rural Alaska at its best, and in early November that means it's dark. But not this morning. I'm enjoying one of snow's unique qualities. It has so many of them, but one is that even when there are no lights at all to reflect off it (stars and moon included) it glows. I'm not talking the green glow of a Halloween light stick, this is different. It's almost mystical. The snow makes it so that on an otherwise pitch black can't-see-my-nose night, I can see for more than 100 yards! I have no idea why, but the snow defies the darkness and that inspires me.
Looking out my front window I take in the majesty of a sleeping winter wonderland. The heavy blanket of white has transformed the leafless scenery. And that's what always gets me, the fact that I can see so much in the middle of a cloudy Alaskan winter night. It reminds me of the spiritual parallels of a moon that reflects the sun. The moon is often likened to us humans who do our best to reflect the light of God's nature. In that reflecting, we frequently miss the mark. Much like the moon, our pocks and blemishes are revealed in the glow of God's truths.
So where does the snow fit in? It's not reflecting anything this morning...but it's still glowing. Something inside it, in an otherworldly sort of way, is putting off light! I think I finally see its spiritual undertone. There are times in our lives when it gets dark, the times when all our light seems to go away. No sun, no moon, no stars. Even the street lights are gone. It's just dark. These are the times of deep blackness that cause us to question our faith or vision. Times when death may have robbed us or time has run out. Times we simply can't explain. Sadly, when it's like this, we often begin to sink into despair and it gets even darker. Then something in us wakes up. It may be early in the morning when we should be resting, but our mind becomes alert and we venture a glance out the "window" of our soul. A faint glint of hope nudges us to believe that something can change...we ever so slightly hope for a miracle...we check for snow.
I think there is buried in us a sense that there has to be an answer for the darkness. It simply can't be all consuming. Something has to be greater. In the darkness we need to have hope. Truth is that in several hours the sun is going to come up. It will probably still be behind the clouds, but there's a good chance it'll be clear too. And when the sun rises it will reflect off this snow and there will be piercing, eye-squinting light! The blackness will be completely gone. But for now, it's still dark...dark, with snow.
I don't think God ever intended for us to fall into a despair that was so deep it was absolute, but I think He knew we could. He knew that despite His desire for us to always trust Him, there would be times we forget to hold His hand. The psalmist once said "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...you are there" (Psalm 23). Through an imperfect King named David, God was whispering to us "Your not alone, I am with you!"
I didn't expect to be met by God in the wee hours of a Saturday morning on my way to the couch...but I was. I didn't expect to be taught by the snow...but I am. Just like the snow, I can know that even in the deepest night, there can be Light. Even when nothing seems to be making sense, my plans aren't lining up, or the unexpected has fallen on me. God is there. Softly, gently calling..."you're not alone." And in those times I will look for the snow...and be amazed by what I can see!
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