Worship

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Lord, I want, no I need You to remove the veil from before my eyes. The things of this world are too real and the things that are true are too distant for me to see. I can no longer be content to accept anything less that all of You in my life and heart. Fill every part of me until there is no more of myself in me. I need You to be the Lord and Master of my life that You created me to be.

There have been places in my life that I have known beyond all doubt that You were there. Your existence caused the very ground to sing Your praise. Peace, Love, and Joy shone brightly from every surface. The wonder, amazement, and astonishment of Your glory and holiness was more; than I could grasp. My body trembled and fell in fear from Your presences unable to stand before a mighty and powerful God. My life was never again the same because I had been touched without a doubt by You.

There have been moments when time when time stood still. I was so caught up in Your Spirit that I prayed for hours yet it seems but seconds. I was so lost in Your thoughts and dreams that the troubles of this world were not real. There have been times when a single moment of joy lasted a lifetime and I have not wanted to return to this world of troubles and trails below.

There have been times when I have known who I am; a child of the King blessed beyond all imagination; a sinner, forgiven and cleansed; a slave; a holy and righteous priest; a might soldier ready for battle; and a victorious general. At times I have run in to my Daddy arm’s crying Abba and known just how much I am loved, wanted and valued. Sometimes I am aware just what my inheritance is and who my Father is and at others times I have forgotten. There have been times when I was fully aware that God lives inside me and am filled with wonder and awe that He would choose me to be His temple. Why He would do this I don’t understand nor can I explain.

There have been times when I have been able to stand in Your power, strength and authority receiving all that You have for me. At times I have had enough faith to move the mountains of disease and infirmity. Because I had been with You then I could lay hands on the sick and they would recover for You were in me. Just as I have seen You do, I could speak to pain, cancer, disease and tell it to flee. I could command body parts to function once again. I could say to mountains of unforgiveness, and broken relationship, “Be wiped away.” Sometimes I could speak to mountain of pain, sorrows and hurt, and demand that the soul be healed and comforted. I could tell mountains of fear, debt and poverty, “Let God’s people Go.”

There have been times when I could take up the name of Jesus and demand that Satan flee refusing to listen to Satan’s lies, doubts and fear. At times, I could say to the curses of disease, addictions, drugs, alcohol, poverty, failures, failed relationships and hopelessness, “You are broken.” I have declared that its prisoners have been washed and covered by the blood of Jesus, and demand that the demons set them free. Some days I have the courage to stand toe to toe with Satan and said, “No this is my child, my father, my brother, my friend and I claim them for the Lord. You cannot touch their hearts, their minds, or hinder God’s call to repent.”

There have been times when I have answered the call, fallen to my knees, and dressed for battle ready to raise the dead. I have at times boldly proclaimed this is my nation, my courts, my leaders, my school, my city, my church and God’s people declaring, “Satan, they are not yours restore them. Release them back to God.” I have said to Death, “Enough. AIDS, drugs, sickness, broken homes, hunger, murder, crime, and sin have claimed their share of victims it is time you give up your hold.” There have been times when I could no long bear; the empty pews, the white wash tombs that sit joylessly out of tradition on Sunday morn and I pleaded for hearts to melt. I have shed tears for those that are lost and don’t even know that they are dying and I begged for them to find a living God capable of awaking them from death’s grip.

There have been times that I said I don’t care what man thinks I will stand for God. Even if man laughs or rejects me, I will tell the world of Your Love. I will praise and worship Jesus Christ with songs of joy and thanksgiving even when I hurt for you are faithful to do all You have promised. I will smile and be happy for You are good, merciful, and kind. I will shout, clap and sing for You have blessed me with a future and a hope. I will lift my hands high, jump for joy, and dance in His presences for He has made me righteous. I will say Amen, bow my knee, and fall prostrate at the cross for you have saved my soul and given me life. I will welcome all His gifts for His desire is only to bless me. I will serve even if no one sees or knows but Him. I will give my money, my time, my dreams and my talents for He deserves no less. Even if I am thought a fool or don’t see how to do what He has asked, still I will step out in faith and try.

There have been times when I have said enough to pain, sorrow, and rebellion. I have tried my way, it doesn’t work and leads only to death. I don’t care what the cost I can no long live like this. Sometimes that means I simple say, “Take it,” for I do not know how to give it up. But, I need a savior and I surrender all to His call. I don’t care what people think or don’t. I no longer care if no one else comes, but I must. I cannot stand to have only parts of the word, parts of truth, and parts of Your Spirit. I need all of You. So lift the veil from my eyes that I may clearly see Your face. I cannot live with some of the time anymore. My heart cries out to be filled with all of You, all of the time in all Your fullness. My soul cannot be happy until it reflects Your image, and Your glory. Rest on me Your hand of blessing and let Your love permeate my being until You bring me home again.

Kathy Barnes
7-28-09

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