Humor
A few years back - well, 35 - we started our own business and as soon as we registered it, the sales calls started. The sales calls were not to buy our products, but to by their products. Hey, I am just starting out, I have no money - you need to buy from me first. I quit answering the phone, which was a mistake because my husband began answering it. "Hello, oh, pens for advertising, I will take a thousand, you are welcome," and so on. We were stuck with pens that dried up nearly as soon as you uncapped them; our name was plastered all over them and it was not good advertising. Then key chains, then calendars; finally, I banned my husband from using the phone.
Of course all these salesmen sold our phone number to other salesmen because we were such good customers. Friends of ours used to joke that if they needed some money, they could call my husband and sell him whatever they had lying around the house - because he would buy anything. This was before caller ID, so I had to answer the phone in case it was someone we knew - like my mother-in-law. I was not getting much work done, even though the calls were short (because as soon as I found out they were salesmen, I hung up); I decided something had to be done, there were just too many calls coming in.
The salesmen were getting smarter now and when I answered, they would ask for my husband because they knew he would buy and I wouldn't. I finally told them that he died. Do you think they offered sympathy - NO! All they cared about was their commission, even though my husband's cold, dead body was rotting in the grave and I had no foreseeable income, they had the nerve to ask, "Are you the wife?" "Of course I am the wife, you idiot, I just told you my husband died." "Oh, sorry; but since you are the wife, you are now the head-of-household; could I interest you in some advertising pens for your business?" I hung up and informed my husband that he was dead and if he answered the phone, he was to say he was our son. He needed to tell the salesmen that his mom is inconsolably weeping on his dad's grave at the moment, and can't come to the phone. I needed time to think.
The phone rings again, "Hello, no, Mr. so & so died; no his wife died too, I am the maid and I am in the midst of ransacking their house because I have a paycheck coming and they died before paying me. No, I don't want your pens." The phone calls still kept coming; they are now looking for any children who may have access to the bank account.
In my desperation I made a recording of an infant's babbling and the next time the phone rang, I turned on the recording, placed the phone next to it and finally got some work done.
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Ah, of course, those pesky and annoying phone calls! The infant babbling recording was a good trick-heehee, a fun read, thanks for sharing!
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