Humor

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"Red MacPherson here, on this crisp fall day in the city. Your man on the street reporter. We're going to find out what the color red means to people." Red moves down the street with his cameraman.

As Red and the cameraman are walking; a woman in a business suit approaches. "You ma'am, do you have a moment to talk about the color – red?"
Looking at her watch the business the business woman gives in. "Well, just briefly. I'm on my way to court to file a brief."

"Certainly. The first question is, 'What feelings do you experience when you see the color red?'" Red points to his red baseball cap and smiles.
Without much thought she replies with tight lips, "Anger."

Red sheepishly hides his ball cap. "Oh, I see. Well, on to questions two, 'What memories do you have relating to the color red?'"
Again, without much thought the woman responds, "Jesus' death on the cross. Do you have any other questions." She says with a hurried tone while looking at her watch.
"No. Case dismissed. Thanks for your time."

Red looks to his left. "Let's step over here – looks like a mechanic is on duty." Red moves towards a pair of legs under a car. Excuse me sir. Red MacPherson, ace reporter. May I ask you a couple questions about the color red."

Sliding out from under the car the woman sets down her socket wrench. "Yeah, sure. I was about to take a break anyway. Let's cop-a-squat over here." She clears some boxes off a bench by sweeping her arm across it.
Red makes a quick scan for grease spots and sits down leading with his first question, "What feelings do you experience about the color red?"

Thinking for a moment the mechanic replies, "What shade of red?"
"Does it matter?"
"Well, sure. Transmission fluid is red and when I see that I get all revved up about my work. And roses are red;" she leans towards Red and sweetly says, "my favorite flower by the way. That just gets me feeling – I guess love."

With raised eyebrows Red's reply drags across his lips, "Okaay. How 'bout memories. Any memories with the color red?"
Looking up with her finger tapping her now greasy chin she says, "Well, Jesus' hands being pierced."
Red looks at his watch. "Oh, my goodness. Look at the time. Thanks for the interview. I have to go now."
In slight surprise and disappointment she replies, "Oh, well if you have too. Thanks for talking."

"My keen reporter eyes spot what appears to be a married couple waiting for the city bus. Let's see what I can get from them." Red moves in position followed by the cameraman. "Excuse me folks. Red MacPherson, ace reporter. I'd like to ask you a few questions about – the color red."

The man speaks first, "Is this going to be part of the sequel to, 'The Color Purple'?"
"No. It's just to find out how people feel about the color – red."
The woman looks briefly at the man and replies to Red, "Well, alright. What's yer first question?"

"What feelings do you experience about the color red?"
The man and woman look at each other for a moment, then turn to Red and reply in an almost dreamy tone, "Happiness."
"Cute. I'll need individual answers for this next question. 'What memories do you have relating to the color red?' Sir?"

"Easy. Kansas City Chiefs verses the Minnesota Vikings, Super Bowl IV." The man raises his fist and with the other hand pulls back part of his jacket revealing a Chiefs T-shirt. "Go Chiefs, baby!"
"How about you ma'am?"
"No problem. My father hated red doors. To him it represented Communism." She starts looking around suspiciously, almost sneering at anything red.

Once again as Red hides his cap he pushes his answer past his lips, "Ookaay." Looking behind him a bus is arriving at the corner. "Well, I'm sure this is your bus so let me not hold you up…a…Mister and Misses…a"
Looking at each other snickering the man speaks as the bus doors open, "Come on Ma, you'll be late for your appointment."
Red blushes and turns to the camera. "Red MacPherson, ace reporter. Until next time when we ask people, "If Chicken Little had been taller would everyone have believed her?"

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