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Topic: Exams (07/26/04)
TITLE: He Knew I Would Pass By Carol Shaffron 07/29/04 |
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I prayed and prayed for days…
But the thoughts persisted to write letters to the individuals who I felt had wronged me. I sensed I needed to call a dear, sweet, humble woman of prayer that I knew and ask her to pray for me. I called and explained that my mind kept being pulled back into the situation I didn’t want anything to do with anymore. As we listened, I sensed I once again needed to ask the Lord to forgive me for my wrong attitudes and judgments toward those who had clearly taken advantage of me. I asked God to forgive me of my idolatries in thinking they needed to be nice to me--self worship--and for judging them for how they’d treated me. I also had to confess that I did not fully trust God in this because of past childhood experiences and I really wanted to teach these people how to walk in love. I had told God a few days ago that He “takes too long” to fix things and make them right, and that He always lets people get away with being self indulgent even when it hurts me.
As it turns out, I was the one who needed an attitude adjustment and God was apparently putting me to the test of true selfless love. I confessed my sins of judging them and feeling sorry for myself deep inside and for agreeing with the thoughts the enemy wanted me to believe--that God wasn’t truly on my side. After that I felt lighter and freer, and I could see how much better off I am than those bound in self indulgent ways.
Psalm 26:2 “Examine ME, O Lord, and prove ME; try My reins and My heart.” I passed His exam