The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/18/06
Was going to say 'prodigal' but the ending threw me. Very well written.
Good story, but as it progressed you resorted to "telling" instead of "showing." Besides that, you have a strong story and I enjoyed it very much.
05/19/06
I enjoyed the retelling of the prodigal son.
The ring in the handerchief... I just don't feel this added to the story. I'd rather dad had somehow gotten it from the pawn shop or given him another just like it.
05/22/06
I like your retelling of the Prodigal Son. I was so happy for Jarod that the father welcomed him. You did a great job and held the reader's interest throughout.
05/24/06
This was nice. Agood story. The dialogue really worked well. The one thing that this piece needed (in my humble opinion) is fuller descriptions. I would have loved to more fully experience the setting. Aside from that, you've got the rest of the ingrediants down!
This was a clever modern twist of a very old wonderful story. Good job.
05/24/06
I think the homeless woman/angel and the reappearance of the ring weaken an extremely well done re-visit to the Prodigal Son story. I felt like I really got to know this character in a new way. Very, very good.
A gripping start...got me all set for something desperate! The return of the ring and Jason's anger left my focus divided at the end, however. The whole prodigal story was well done, and I picked up on the fact that Jarod prayed big time (the evidence of repentance?) before the angel-woman showed up w/ the handkerchief...