Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: SOCIAL (04/07/16)
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TITLE: The Social Butterfly | Previous Challenge Entry
By Marlene Bonney
04/11/16 -
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Constance Urich, the church young people’s group president, had personally invited newcomer Elizabeth to this first social event of the season.
“But, Mother, I don’t WANT to go! She was just being polite! She’s the prettiest, best dressed, most popular teenager at the church!”
“Ellie, you’re never going to make friends unless you put forth some effort. You’re pretty and smart and, if you could just overcome your shyness, everyone will see how beautiful you are on the inside!”
Elizabeth had ultimately given in, but she would rather have spent the evening ensconced in her bedroom with the latest Christian novel. Books were her refuge, fictional friends and their escapades more exciting than her drab existence. However, she had prayed about it and felt God was nudging her to get more involved and to become more social. A bit of a loner at heart, she preferred to be solitary, awkward when out of her usual, safe environment. Being a “homebody,” as she was labeled by those at her last church, did not bother her, but she was slowly realizing that tucking herself into a turtle shell of comfort was a cowardly way to live; that she was sacrificing relationships on the altar of selfish pursuits. . .
The “ice-breaker” game further animated the noisy bevel of teens gathered around Constance while Elizabeth sat back and observed. It was so hard to push herself in their direction! Her eyes scanned the room for a more obscure corner and saw another kid, seemingly like herself, sitting unobtrusively next to the coat rack. She looked so nervous and lonely, Elizabeth approached the kindred spirit and smiled. The young girl smiled back with trembling lips, her fidgeting hands betraying her nervousness.
“Hi, I’m Ellie, what’s your name?”
“Ba-Ba-Beth,” she self-consciously stammered out, tucking a book out of sight under her ruffled skirt.
“Is that ‘The Betrayed Heart’ you were reading? It’s one of my favorites!”
Soon the two young women were whispering and giggling together like little chipmunks.
“Hey, Ellie—Beth—come and join us!” Constance-to-the-rescue beckoning them over.
Ellie and Beth soon discovered that the chief motto of the Clarkston Youth Group was, “In Order To Have A Friend, You Must First Be One,” and these two girls were proof that the members went out of their way to include all the teens who attended the church.
“Why don’t you and Beth start a book club, Ellie? I noticed that you both are dedicated readers; maybe there are others who would like to discuss the inspirational novels you enjoy?” Constance encouraged.
This became the catalyst for Ellie to overcome her natural bent of shyness and withdrawal. Over the next several weeks, she learned that outside appearances are misleading and that everyone had a valuable story of their own to tell. She was interviewed by Constance for an upcoming issue of “The Grapevine Gazette.”
“What is the most unexpected thing you have learned through joining our young people’s group, Elizabeth?”
“That building relationships is more important than my own self-centered interests or accomplishing great things. I don’t wait anymore for someone at a party to approach me; I choose to “act” instead of waiting to react. So, I began drawing people out—to listen for their silent cries to be heard and valued. Does that one over there feel noticed? Does this one here feel loved? Does each one realize she or he is God’s masterpiece and the possibilities of His working grace in her or his life?. . .Jesus is the perfect example. He chose the non-obvious, the least important to show compassion, grace and mercy. His social life involved rubbing elbows with some of the most detested people of His day and He NOTICED each individual! My comfort zone has expanded as I share His love with a forgotten or left-out personality.”
Constance ended the article with,
“We challenge ourselves and each of you readers, to invest yourself in someone else today!”
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I also agree with Bill that some of the long sentences dragged the pace down at times. I would look for ways you could shorten those to help with the readability of the piece.
However, as I said earlier, the message is awesome and the characters you've created are really good. A lot of people have been through similar experiences of being left out and I love how you show just easy it can be for Christians to act like Jesus and make those people feel included.
Nice work!
Blessings~
Well done!