The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Nice story. Loved the line '...left our conversation. But it didn’t leave me"
Leave it to a teenager to tell it like it is!!!
11/29/09
Your entry makes me with I'd had a daughter instead of only sons! A lot is being said between the lines on this one! Good job!
11/29/09
A nice, light-hearted read. I completely understand that feeling of "is she talking about me?" :) I thought you needed more question marks after the mom's "internal" questions. I really liked the ending - the teenager's voice and attitude seem just right.
12/01/09
An enjoyable story about the switch of influence from parent to child at a certain age. Very well written. Colin
12/02/09
Good exploration of a woman's feelings as she ages.

There were several places where you had questions that should have ended in question marks--a little bit distracting.

The daughter is a real gem--a typical teenager, not unrealistically sweet, but just what the mother needed.
12/02/09
Liked the relationship shown here and the internal thoughts of the MC. Now come on, what's wrong with a little grey??? Anyhow, ask me that when I celebrate a big birthday... Good entry.