Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Favoritism (02/28/05)
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TITLE: Playing Favorites | Previous Challenge Entry
By Karen Deikun
03/02/05 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Perhaps the extra time Marilyn was spending with Meg was because she was a year older, but it was more than the extra time. Lately she’d been giving Meg compliments about her clothes or her hair. It troubled me that Lisa wasn’t included in those compliments.
Quiet and sweet, Lisa is our blonde pixie who always looks adorable. She reminds me so much of my wife. For example, she enjoys looking pretty and dressing up. She spends many evenings sitting with me in the den while her needle flies over some little girl sewing project. While I read the paper, she reads a book.
Meg takes after me in her sturdy build. She always seems to hurry and is more interested in being outdoors – she’s kind of a tomboy. And she’s interested in bugs of all things! She showed me her “butterfly book” in which she has real butterflies under plastic. She’s made notes by each one. When she’d showed me the book, I thought it a rather odd hobby.
I thought of examples of ways in which my wife had been favoring Meg: Like the big deal Marilyn had made yesterday about Meg’s red blouse, and the remark about how cute her blue skirt looked with it. There’d been no comment for Lisa, even though she looked as cute as a button. I also remembered a few months back when Marilyn and Meg had been closeted in the bedroom working on a project. It was the handkerchief for my birthday present. But it had taken days to complete the hem - and in spite of all that time, the hem wasn’t done very well. I’d noticed several puckers and had kindly shown them to Meg so she could do better next time.
I was relieved when Marilyn nodded her head positively as I spoke about the importance of not favoring one child over another. Perhaps she’d begun to see it herself. Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard after all.
“Oh Gary, I’m so glad you’ve noticed the favoritism!” Marilyn said. “I wanted to talk to you about it but the more I prayed, the more I felt God telling me to wait.” I paused, puzzled. This wasn’t making sense. Why would she think God wanted her to wait or talk to me before she stopped favoring Meg?
“Meg was so hurt about the handkerchief, honey,” Marilyn continued sadly. “When she saw how much you liked the one Lisa made you at Christmas, she told me she wanted to make you one, too. But sewing is so hard for her. It isn’t easy like it is for Lisa. She worked three times harder and four times longer than Lisa. She took the stitches out several times because they didn’t look right, and then all you said was that the hem was puckered and you hoped she could do better next time. She cried her heart out in her room.
“ She tries so hard to please you, but somehow you never notice. You don’t seem to appreciate the things Meg is good at. You tell Lisa how nice she looks, but you ignore Meg. I thought if I kept pointing out something about her appearance you’d notice, too. Instead, you keep telling Meg to ask Lisa for advice on how to dress. I’m glad you’re starting to see what a put-down something like that is. I’ve heard her crying at night because she thinks you don’t love her as much as Lisa. I was getting so worried! Oh honey, I’m so glad you realized. God must have been showing you all the time I was praying.”
Marilyn looked so happy that I’d finally seen the error of my ways. I sat stunned as I finally saw it too.
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