The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/11/06
This was powerful, and your storyteller had an authentic voice.

I got lost a few times, though, I think because of inconsistent use of quotation marks. If leaving them off was a style choice, perhaps a few descriptive phrases here and there to orient your reader as to who's talking...

The subject was harsh, but the hope shone through. Thanks!
The punctuation (quotation marks) needs a some work and the dialog was a little too "formal" in places. Great message. We should really be in prayer for these women and children in these situations. And the men.
Although the writing needs some polishing, the story told was authentic and realistic. God bless
Good lesson. I liked this line, especially: "Our so called human logic keeps us in bondage." Lots of wisdom in those few words!