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TITLE: Don't Do It! | Previous Challenge Entry
By Dot Hannah
05/24/16
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Don’t Do It!
May 24, 2016

I was not thinking about what mattered. I had a vision of myself, not as I was, but as how I might become, popular with many friends. “Is this how friends are made?” I asked myself. “Am I willing to sell out just to fit in?”

It had been a completely frustrating day. The girls I so desperately wanted to like me casually said, “We are going to a store in the mall and steal some stuff.” I tried not to let them see my utter shock. However, the risks, so far as I could see, were worth taking to gain their acceptance, even though it flew in the face of everything I knew and believed. It would be a short term means to an end. Loneliness had overtaken me, and my computer had become my only friend. I spent hours alone surfing the internet, and I was determined to break free, make friends, and have fun.

I was scared to death as we drove into the parking lot of the department store. How did they expect to do this without getting caught? There were four of us, and we immediately split up. Before we separated, Penny Fairweather looked squarely in my face, put the pressure on, and said, “Don’t come back empty handed.”

I moved around uneasily, looking for the opportunity to take something. “Where were the others?” I thought. I had a forbidding sense that this was all a hoax, that I had been sabotaged. Had it just been a scheme from the beginning to get me into trouble? I felt my skin crawling, felt fear wash through me. My heart was pounding out of my chest as I reached out to steady myself. All I could think was this shouldn’t be happening. I found myself in front of a rack of jeans, not something that would be easy to hide in my bag.

I turned and proceeded to walk into the children’s department. I felt watched everywhere I went. I was pleading with myself, “Don’t do this. You will most certainly get caught.” To my far left, I saw a mother with a little girl looking through garments. A clerk was preoccupied trying to help them. Suddenly, another clerk appeared, cleared her throat, and asked, “May I be of any assistance?” I smiled with what I hoped was my calmest, most innocent smile and replied, “No, but thank you. I am just looking.” She turned and walked away.

I can’t tell you anything as to why in the next instance, my trembling fingers picked up a small gown and tucked it underneath my blouse. There was silence, deep and complete silence. I could hear nothing but my own breathing. I raised my left hand and rubbed my forehead as I was sweating profusely and feeling like I was about to be violently sick. I knew it was my imagination but it felt as if the air was getting heavier. Instantly, I noticed the camera overhead. About this time, a forceful man with sharp eyes and a grave expression approached me and asked suspiciously, “What are you up too?” At that moment, I didn’t have a clue what I would do next.

I jerked upright in bed in a cold sweat, feeling like I was choking, trembling uncontrollably. It took me several minutes to realize it was all a dream. I swung my feet over onto the floor, feeling woozy, as relief washed over me. It seemed so real.

I remembered how troubled I had been about not having any friends. A sixteen year girl places great importance on this. My family and I had moved recently, and it had been very difficult for me. My father, who chews on problems and spits out solutions, had encouraged me to pray. “We are people of faith,” he said. I knelt beside my bed and decided to take his advice. If everything that concerns me concerns my heavenly Father, surely He can fix this. I was ashamed that I had not already prayed about it.

Later I showered, had breakfast, and checked my computer, an habitual practice. Penny had sent an email that said, “I thought we could get together and get acquainted. I was wondering if you would come for a visit, perhaps a meal.” Overjoyed, I nearly fell out of the chair and quickly responded, “Yes, I would love too.”

I probably will not tell her about the dream.

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