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TRUST JESUS TODAY

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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: STAND UP FOR JESUS (don't write about the song) (04/09/15)
The argument became more heated by the minute. Words flew back and forth: cutting, slashing, defending, frustrated. Why couldn’t she see? Why couldn’t she understand? She claimed to believe, and yet, she continued practicing things that deny her supposed beliefs. The phone burned red hot in my hands, not from an external source, not from a malfunction within its wiring. No, it burned red hot from the heat of the argument, the scorching words coursing back and forth, across an entire continent.

I loved her. I prayed for her. I tried to understand her. But, as the years went on, as we both became increasingly vocal as to our personal beliefs, I found our conversations all the more taxing, frustrating, infuriating. “You don’t understand…” I’d say. “God’s word says…” I’d harp. “Jesus is my Lord and Savior, my best friend…” I’d exclaim. Scripture flowed from my mouth like the acidic juice from a squeezed orange, pulp and all.

I had intended the scriptures to be a comfort to her in times of trials, words of love from our Father in Heaven: They, however, invoked anger and resentment due to unresolved parental issues; they were a destructive trigger. I feared for her soul, I feared for her life. I feared being drawn over the line into a world that for me was spiritually unacceptable. And I fought…hard.

How could she claim to love the Lord, and yet question who he is? How could she belittle God’s word, and yet, call on His name? How could she pray to God, while tightly embracing ritualistic practices from an earlier life? How? Why? I couldn’t understand. I battled, I defended, and I stood up for Jesus with every fiber of my being. And, as I stood up, the arguments heated to a boiling point: Until that day.

The phone line was dead. We had said our good-byes, and I cried. I cried for a friendship I wasn’t sure I could endure any longer. I cried for a soul I feared was lost. I cried for my Jesus, whom I defended like a mother bear. Then, in the small part of my brain, somewhere behind the anger and the tears, I heard a voice say, “You don’t have to defend me. You stand up for me every day by your actions and your love. You need to love me, and show my love to others. I can defend myself.”

With a sigh, I plopped heavily upon the bed, and listened to words of love and encouragement that flowed through my soul. I, for the first time, saw the person I was when dealing with my friend: a "Bible thumper" like her father; judgmental; self-righteous. In my arduous defense of Jesus, in my quest to awaken her to God’s amazing word, I had become a person I didn’t like; a person polar opposite the One I stood up for.

How could my friend see Jesus as her Savior: as a loving, compassionate, forgiving God, when I, the mother bear, exhibited only anger and judgment? I had reacted to her questions, her demands, her beliefs, the same way I’d reacted when someone attacked my young children many years ago: claws flexed. Our friendship had become a vast swamp of impenetrable issues: Each of us was right, and the other wrong. Period. We each fought to be heard, yet, neither listened. Buttons were pushed, and knee jerk reactions occurred. Our friendship had become a battlefield, and there would be no survivors without Jesus’ intervention.

Over the course of the next few months I knew I needed to step back from my friend and reconnect with God. Whether we continued as friends was in the Lords hands, but I needed a renewed heart regardless. It’s an ongoing process. I’m still under construction: as is my friend. We may disagree on much, but we both agree on our love for each other, and now joyfully, for the Lord also.

I praise Jesus for speaking to me that day: for opening my heart and my mind. I gladly and willing stand up for Jesus, and will do so even unto death. I however have learned a valuable lesson. They will know I’m a Christian, and that Jesus lives in me by my love, not my fury. That fiery conversation was a few years ago. There have been conversations since, and I hope my friend now sees Jesus living in me.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
04/17/15
Great message and good story for the topic which you nailed very well.

God bless~
Lollie Hofer 
04/19/15
Great message. I can be a control freak so this is something I need to hear. Thanks for sharing.
Rachel Barrett
04/22/15
That was an incredibly strong message. Thank you so much for sharing it. It made me sad, as I could have been reading a story about a person I know (not me) who has done that. How do you help someone understand that our job is not to judge and condemn and hit people on the head with a Bible, but to simply show them the LOVE of God? (Rhetorical question, as trying to do that would make me the same kind of pushy, controlling person.)

I am thankful that you/your main character experienced that revelation. If not fiction, I pray the friendship can be restored. Either way, the message of the piece was very compelling!