Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Time-consuming (02/24/11)
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TITLE: Golde's Mine | Previous Challenge Entry
By Troy Manning
03/03/11 -
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Supposing the opening at the base of the frosted mountain to be some sort of mine, she cautiously stepped inside. Though the entrance was dark, she could see further on that, There’s light in there. She shouted out and hearing only her echo--Wasn’t it?, she proceeded until entering upon a family’s living quarters. “Hello?!” she again called out. Golde then wandered the rooms of what was evidently no mine--diamond or otherwise.
Her flight from what she considered a very undemocratic living arrangement had begun nearly two days prior, and now, she told herself, I just want to die. Her hunger, however, prevailed upon her to seek out any available food. While the kitchen’s pickings were rather meager—to one, anyway, who cringed, I deplore porridge--she did manage to scavenge some berries and nuts. Feeling fatigued, Golde started toward the bedrooms. En route, a home office with three computers caught her eye, and she decided, Hmm, Maybe I should unload some of my stocks. She was glad to find the passwords posted on a shelf nearby.
The code on the screen before which Golde sat was all but indecipherable. Moving to the next computer, she almost felt insulted by what amounted to cyber baby talk. She tried the third and the words that appeared read, “Just write.” And that was invitation enough for Golde to begin to trade her day and self away.
Working on a laptop in his multimedia class, the emergence of a notification that “SB is now online” surprised Spebarn Bjorn. Guessing that, Moder is getting in my business again, Spebarn Bjorn quickly sent a probing message.
Although her interlocutor maintained anonymity, Golde, with a near giddy abandon, provided him with her mother’s maiden name, as well as those of her favorite pet and team--For good measure.
It was Spebarn Bjorn’s fader who had informed him about identity theft, as his moder was virtually computer-illiterate. And Spebarn Bjorn now understood enough to see that, This jente wants to lose herself—both by her disclosure of personal information and, more especially, through her breaking into a den of polar bjorns. He closed the laptop and pondered how to proceed. Though Spebarn Bjorn was a common enough name, he still found it curious that should be the name of Golde Gunnhild Lokken’s favorite pet. He waited until recess to call Fader, as Hallefjorden High confiscated cell phones used during class.
Fader Bjorn was grateful for the information, as he had forgotten to bring his lunch to work. He thought, Maybe I could run home for a quick bite of her before returning for my afternoon meeting.
“Could I have her for my eighteenth birthday present?” begged Spebarn Bjorn.
“We’ll see.”
Spebarn Bjorn knew his Moder must have gotten home before he returned from school, as Golde sat in the family room tied up with a red ribbon and sported a white bow atop her head. He started for his parents’ bedroom to find his moder without first saying to their visitor, “Hi, I’m Spebarn Bjorn.” Not seeing her there, he entered the den’s office where Moder Bjorn sat at her computer. “Hi Moder!” he said cheerily.
She turned and regarded him with a quizzical expression, Moder? “Hi, I’m Golde Lokken.”
Spebarn Bjorn tried desperately to make her agree, Even stealing Golde’s identity doesn’t really make her Golde. It saddened him to think his moder could so easily lose the distinction between the virtual and the actual. Finding his efforts futile, he slouched back into the family room and asked the girl in the chair, “Are you my moder?”
“Don’t be silly, my precious spebarn,” she said. “You know I’m your moder, and that you’ve always been my favorite.” After wincing from the ribbon’s chafing, she smiled warmly, “Now please, come open your present before your fader gets home.”
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The ending confused me a bit... I think I got it, but it took me a couple of reads.
Good job with this one.