Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Oops (01/14/10)
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TITLE: Alleviate | Previous Challenge Entry
By Benjamin Graber
01/19/10 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
To file away the little bumps
And add some dirt to little holes
Which have been made by my mistakes.
With “oopsies” here, and “whoopsies” there
I feel like Mr. Fix-it-Man,
Trying to heal my bumbling—
I want to fix it all with duct tape!
My greatest dream is to fix the world,
Alleviating all the pain—
But I have erred too many times!
A broken fake can’t change the world…
It’s not my job to heal the earth,
Or be the balm that soothes the heart;
There’s only One who gives the salve
That makes things calm in hurting lives.
And when I take this salve, I find,
That it can heal not just the world,
But every bump of my mistakes,
And it can seal up every hole!
No longer do I need to spend
My life upon my hands and knees—
Upon my feet, I find a future
And chase the dawn of all God planned…
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I really liked this line
"My greatest dream is to fix the world, Alleviating all the pain—But I have erred too many times! A broken fake can’t change the world…" especially that last line...
I did feel it should be a little longer, I think there was more that could of been said.
I especially liked your fourth stanza - it had a soothing rythym to it.
And I loved the ideas expressed - too many times we try to do God's job of fixing things instead of letting him be the salve.
Great job.