Battling "It" | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: Battling "It" | Previous Challenge Entry
By L.M. Lee
01/25/05
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES

I grew up in church. I was taught to be “nice” and if you “can’t say anything nice,” then don’t!

But I am a verbal learner. I have to talk. So I became confused. If Christians are supposed to be kind, patient, considerate, gentle and controlled – why is my interior a boiling caldron of anger seasoned generously with bitterness and rage? {Why do I always seem to revert to cooking analogies…everyone knows I hate to cook?}

I really wanted to be like Jesus. But I was miserable. I didn’t feel nice and I was mad because I didn’t. The longer I battled the conflicting emotions, the angrier I became. And that anger, bred fear; fear of exposure. Fear that if someone really knew me; they would know I was a fake.

That’s right a fake! A hypocrite! A goat! Yes, my biggest fear was of Jesus’ return and His announcement to the entire world: Lissa M. Lee is a goat! He would rubber stamp “Never Known” on my forehead, extend the left-boot of fellowship and spiral me into the eternal dark abyss.

That fear snared me in a thicket of guilt and shame. Ever seen a goat’s horns caught in a thicket? It ain’t a pretty sight!

God is so merciful! Fortunately He knows what He’s doing!

God simply allowed circumstances and situations to get worse. That’s right; He turned up the heat. {I would have put the mess in a refrigerator, cool it off and made jell-o}. God knew “cold” was not the solution; He wants character, not linguini. Heat and pressure create diamonds.

He continued to increase the pressure until I exploded! It wasn’t as messy as shell encased raw egg nuked in a microwave, but it was close. {There I go again. And no, I’ve never actually done this. I may not like to cook, but I’m not stupid.}

God and I went head-to-head. Picture God standing there, His loving hand extended against my forehead and me batting air with my fists. Does this “prayerful” position sound familiar? Oh how patient Father is!

Somewhere in the middle of this comical match I screamed, “Why are You doing this to me? I just can’t do “it!” I can’t be nice!”

“Finally!” came an exuberating thunderous sigh from the heavenlies.

“That’s it?” I replied, “That’s all You’ve got to say?” {You have to admit I’m spunky for someone questioning the Creator of the Universe!}

Despite years of evangelism seminars and summits I had never quite understood “it” before. I’m being honest, go ahead, laugh, I’m use to it. I am a spiritual remedial learner, slow and spiritually challenged. I accept it!

But that was “it.” God never intended me to do “it.” That commandment about no other gods…it means no other gods, no other ways and not even me. It means Him, completely, ‘nuthang else – nadda!

How does “it” work? “It” was a lot easier than I realized. When I feel angry, cheated, robbed, rejected, etc., I don’t deny it. I confess it. I admit the moron that pulled out in front of me in traffic, forcing me to slam on breaks, launching 12 dozen frosted cupcakes for the F.C.A.’s bake sale into the back of my head and windshield is an jerk. I tell God “it” ain’t right.

Then I step back and allow God to be God! I am supposed to W.W.J.D., right? So what did Jesus do…

Jesus replied, “I have much to say in judgment of you. But He who sent me is reliable, and what I have heard from Him I tell the world.” (John 8:26 NIV)

Did you see it? Even Jesus wanted to verbally express His opinion about jerks, but He didn’t…He allowed God to speak!

And the best part, I ain’t faking “it!” You know why? Because “it’s” God loving that moron…not me!

* sigh * Christ in me…the ONLY hope of glory!

PREVIOUS ENTRY | NEXT ENTRY
SUBMIT YOUR ENTRY FOR THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.

Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.