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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Postcards (08/29/05)
Help me.

I’m losing my faith.
I feel it slipping from me. Draining out, drop by drop.
Like blood from a slit wrist.
I’m frightened.
There will be nothing left of me.
A shattered goblet. A fractured bowl. Empty and useless. Naught.
I weep in the night.
I don’t know why that happens.
I ache inside.
A bright light fading to gray, then black.
I cry out to the ceiling fan, up there, spinning away.
Churning hot air, but not helping. There’s no reply.
Where is God when it hurts?
I don’t know. I can’t find Him anymore…
…at least not alone.

I’m sending you postcards, letting you know where I am.
They’re on your table. Won’t you read them?

I’m tired.

I’m in the corner.
You don’t see me. I’m pathetic, inconsequential.
You look right past me.
I’m invisible.
Mr. Invisible. I should be a superhero. I’m not.
I have no special powers.
I’m nothing like you.
I skulk around the edges, lurking in the shadows of the steeple.
Nature abhors the vacuum that is me.
Dust in the wind. I’m dust in the wind.
Crowds scare me. I hate being with you.
But I long for your attention.
I want to be wanted.
I yearn to be part of the Body. I just can’t do it…
…at least not alone.

I’m sending you postcards, letting you know where I am.
Aren’t you getting them? Don’t you care?

I can’t go on like this much longer.

I pray alone.
I’m bearing a pressing weight. It crushes me, even in my sleep.
My spirit is ebbing and my flesh is weak.
I’m ashamed.
Sex and perversion clutch at me with painted nails and airbrushed bodies.
I disgust myself, the vile things I do.
I’m addicted. My guilt is drowned in a bottle.
I’m thirsty. Oh, God, I’m thirsty.
My heart’s been torn into bloody ribbons. Hope has left me.
Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?
I shudder under tattered blankets
Fetters, emancipation, bondage, relief
It’s the unending conflict that’s destroying me.
I can’t be healed…
…at least not alone.

I’m sending you postcards, letting you know where I am.
Why aren’t you reading them? Why don’t you answer?

Where are you?
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This article has been read 1676 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
dub W
09/05/05
Wow. Very creative approach.
Anna Meadows
09/07/05
Very powerful.
Pat Guy
09/08/05
Very Good. In my opinion it should be a contender.
Pat Guy
09/08/05
oops - sorry - posted too soon. I did want to note that maybe due to the length of your postcards they might not be viewed as such. But it was a Great entry anyway.
Jan Ackerson
09/09/05
You did a superb job a showing the despair of your narrator. I wonder if the words spoken by God to him might be italicized, perhaps, so that your reader recognizes the shift in POV? Very good free verse poem; it's hard to write well, and you've succeeded.
Karen Ward
09/09/05
Shifting genre hasn't lessened the impact of your writing at all!
Debra Brand 
09/09/05
Great word combination. Yes, a little different for you. Good work!
Shari Armstrong 
09/10/05
wow - makes me thankful for the hope I have in Jesus.
J. C. Lamont
09/10/05
Very nice, dark poem. I enjoyed it alot. Well done.
Julianne Jones
09/10/05
Incredible! Your talent is obviously not restricted to prose! Loved the repetitive use of "I’m sending you postcards, letting you know where I am" - great impact.
Crista Darr
09/10/05
A plunge into the hidden recesses of the tormented mind. "Just read the post card!" I want to shout. Frightfully good work!
Jessica Schmit
05/29/06
I read somewhere on the boards that you said that you can't write poetry. You're a liar!!! WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW. The honesty, the openess of the narrator could tug at anyone who has past sins. (I'm slinking in the corner!) I love reading stuff like this because to me, it gives such hope. This is so powerful. I'll be printing thi sone off and reading it from time to time. Whenever I get into my 'I stink' modes. I wish I could write like this. I think this kind of stuff is needed in Christian circles where everything has a happy ending and no one has struggles or defeats. I think that's when the isolation and depression kicks in. We sin, we think we're alone and boom-we're gone. Awesome. I love it. I'll be showing this one to many people.