The Official Writing Challenge
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07/20/09
Wow, you packed a lot of story into 750 words! Good dialogue, and Nanny Maureen was very likable. Nicely done!
07/21/09
And the rest of the story is...?! Great writing and suspenseful with good dialog.
07/22/09
Interesting! Is this the opening chapter of a novel, perhaps in the fantasy genre? It seemed that Nanny Maureen disappeared magically at the end! Anyway, I'd be interested to know what happened next!
07/22/09
Wow! Talk about leaving the reader hanging. But if I know you, Sara, you will finish it for a Friday Fiction or create a whole novel around it. Go girl, go!!!
A lot of stuff is packed into that short story. I'm assuming that it is just part of a larger one because I have more questions than I do answers from the story.

I think it would have made a very nice short story if some of the subplot were left out. However, if it is part of a larger story I would definately read it.
07/22/09
As usual, you have created an interesting story. Loved the twist. Thought maybe there could have been a bit of foreshadowing at the beginning as to Nanny's identity (unless I missed it). Continue this tale. I'm intrigued.
07/22/09
I agree with the other copmments re: strengths and weaknesses. Great line: "she danced her way into a heart with power and position, then married it."
07/22/09
It looks like you've got everyone hanging and that's good! Now the next time you write something, they'll be dashing toward it like white on rice, hoping to find answers. I think it is GREAT and I wish you much success with your writing.
Alright, you've got me. How'd the Queen sneak in as a nanny? lol, this captures the attention. I'd love to hear more story!
07/22/09
Very intriguing, but parts of it had me wishing I knew more. I'm a fan of hints and slowly revealed mysteries, but some lines were so obscure, they had me shaking my head.

Now that red ink is over .. the plot is creative and original, you drew me in right away and made me want to read the next line, and the next, and the next... The girl was a a true teen in any time or dimension. :) Well written.