The Official Writing Challenge
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Wonderful story accentuating the sanctity of life.
03/06/09
I like the vivid descriptions at the beginning of this piece, and how you used both flashback and foreshadowing. I was confused by the line, “It was so easy, e-nu. Madeline was lonely and vulnerable, with no one to question me--just the right combination for success!”

Why was Chang "plotting" to gain Madeline's trust? I think the story would be just as effective without this line--maybe more so, because then it would hint at the foolishness of a rushed relationship. You can still show Madeline's shock without introducing an unneeded sinister element.

I like the fact that Madeline (and her friend) were willing to give their lives for the sake of another.
03/11/09
Oh my! The poor thing. I'm so glad she had a friend to help her escape and that her baby survived, it was nice ending to have her open up a special place to help others with the same situation that she had. I didn't like the guy at all though, good job with the variety of characters.