The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1080 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
12/14/06
Enjoyed reading the conclusion to this original and haunting story. I love the ending--the message from the pamphlet is my favorite part of this conclusion. Beautifully and powerfully worded!

A few punctuation errors: The sentence "What was he going to say..." is a question and should end with a question mark; on the other hand, "He was curious..." is neither a question nor a quote and should end with a period only. Also all quotation marks should be outside, not inside, periods and question marks.

I love the original concept of "smoking angels" disrupting a church, as well as the one little boy being the only person to discern who they really were. A wonderfully refreshing message!
12/15/06
The problem with entering "continued" stories in the Challenge is that we now know who you are, and it's not truly anonymous any more...and also, we have to go back and remind ourselves what happened in Part 1. Finally, you can't be sure that the topic of the week is going to fit into your story structure.

All that aside...you've got great writing skills, and your characters are interesting. I'm still amused at the incongruity of the phrase "smoking angels" which is a great hook for your readers.