Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Lock (03/06/06)
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TITLE: Covenant Two | Previous Challenge Entry
By David Story
03/10/06 -
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Max watches the man walk past and then steps in behind him, matching him step for step. He hesitates just before the man steps into the puddle of rainwater. He can’t help but smile as he watches the man’s frustration. Max takes the timeout to straighten his hat, and then continues once the man picks up his walking.
At his car now, the man fumbles for his keys. After a moment he unlocks the car with the button on his key ring. He throws his briefcase into the passenger seat, and begins to climb in.
“Nice car.”
The man is halfway into his ‘nice car’ when he hears the voice. He straightens and, peering over the roof of the car, looks at the stranger across from him, who’s leaning against a concrete post that separates the parking lot from the towering buildings beyond. Whatever this guys selling, he’s so not in the mood. “What’s it to you?”
Max shrugs. “Nothing really, just an observation.”
“Well, observe somewhere else will you? I’ve got to get home.” He begins his climb into the car again.
“Kind of empty there these days, isn’t it, what with Timmy gone and all?”
The man stands, and then slowly leans on the roof of his car. He looks directly into Max’s eyes, as if that will give him some kind of clue as to what this is all about. “You know my Timmy? You’ve seen him? Is he okay?”
“I know him, and right now he’s not okay. He needs your help.” Max gives the man a hard look. “Timmy and I have a made a…pact together, what I call a ‘New Covenant’.” Max can already see the man loosening up, his guard going down. “And I’d like it to include you.”
“I don’t know.” He can’t look at Max. “I haven’t seen my son in a long time.”
“Why don’t you come with me? Today. Now.”
“How do I know I can trust you?”
“I suppose you don’t, Joe.”
How does he know my name?
Max walks around the car where Joe’s standing. “Joe, God’s giving you another chance. You’ve locked Timmy out of your heart too long. It’s time to open it, and let him back in.”
“What do you want me to do?” The tears are beginning. “What can I do?”
“I can take you to him.”
Doubt returns.
Max picks up on it. “You have to start trusting at some point.” His eyes look to the heavens as he says it. “You might as well start now.”
Joe climbs into the car, and the passenger side door opens. Max gets in.
Minutes later they pull up to an old abandoned apartment complex. “Turn left around the back, you’ll see some two story buildings. That’s where he’s at.”
Joe looks around in disbelief. “Here?”
Max nods. “Here.”
They get out of the car and make their way up a flight of stairs, the creaking sound of each step all but guaranteeing a collapse of structure. Joe stops halfway up the stairs. “Is it…safe?”
Max nods again. “Trust. Remember?”
Joe continues the climb. At the top is an outside hallway. Old. Dirty. Rotten.
“First door on the left.”
Joe makes it to the door. He starts to turn the knob. It won’t budge.
“Here. Let me give you the key.”
Joe looks skeptically at Max, but takes the key from him. The key fits perfectly, and the door opens.
Max smiles.
“Timmy?”
At the center of the room, up against the back wall, is a bed. In it lays the decaying form of a person. A ghostly body, almost withered away to nothing. The boy slowly, painfully, raises up. “Daddy?”
Joe makes his way to the bed, and the tears begin to flow freely. He takes his son’s frail hand and holds it. “I’m here son. I’m here.”
Looking on at a scene that has been set before him from the beginning of this mission, Max still lets his emotions down long enough to let out a tear of his own.
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Note: the readers would understand that it was a sequel if you keep the original title and put (Part II or Continued) in brackets. Great job. I went back to read the first part.I loved it!