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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Red (10/01/09)
There was no fanfare.
No razzmatazz .
None that could be seen on earth anyway.
Things were entirely different though, in the realm of Jehovah-Elyon, the Lord God Most High. A young woman was leaving the kingdom of darkness. All of hell could not stop her if she so wished.

‘Jesus be my Lord’

Angles crowded the tiny room in suppressed excitement It was joy upon joy to witness the salvation of a son of man. And each time, the light and laughter in the Savour’s eyes makes an angle forget the horror of Golgotha.

Eternity being without measure, it is conjecture as to how long the angles gazed in silence upon the new-born spirit. Such perfection, so much the image of the Triune God.

The young woman’s own angle tore his face away from her sweetness to gaze at the Savour. He always made these moments very individual, very personal and it was in an angle's best interest to pay attention. But at the look of tenderness on the Savour’s face he could contain the joy no longer. Things fell apart. Light sparkled and broke and bounced. Laughter spread amongst the hosts until it reached the heavens. It was glorious for them to release such joy and difficult to concentrate. The Savour started laughing too.

But just when it seemed it should never end, He grew serious and the room fell silent. The Savour covered her with the salvation garments and placed the robe of righteousness over her shoulders. He whispered something in her ear. All waited in breathless hope that the woman would respond in thankfulness. She lifted her head and wiped at a tear.

Then someone called to her from outside. It was disappointing. And confusing. The sons of man have so much, so very much, yet rarely do they express the wonder.

That is why I am keeping a record. It is my occupation. Jehovah-Elohim assigned me the task and I am abundantly delighted. After God, I love to write. She too will delight in the memories stored in this journal. And she will rejoice.

‘And L-Lord where it says here,’ the young woman began speaking quickly as though earth time was harassing her. a “if your sins be as scarlet they shall be white as snow.” I am taking that as my very personal word. Thank You. You’re awesome.

A freshly starched nurses’ cap atop a head of tightly drawn curls bobbled around the doorway. “Scarlett I’m not waiting for you one more second. You know what that old dragon will do to us if we’re not on duty in five. So come o-n-n.

‘Jesus, Lord, every time someone calls me Scarlett my heart will whisper ‘even scarlet has made white as snow. I love You.’


(464 Words)





a Isaiah 1:18b
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Ruth Brown
10/08/09
Very sweet.I like glimpses of the angels and the angelic hosts. Oh the rejoicing.Well done.
Jan Ackerson
10/10/09
Very interesting glimpse into the heavenly.

Note: You wanted "angEL", not "angLE" throughout this piece.

You're a good writer, and I'd encourage you to take full advantage of the 750 words and work on developing your plot or your characters. Your writing has the potential to really shine!
Colin Nielsen
10/14/09
Well written. I won't touch on things people have already mentioned. It flowed well. I found it a quick read. Maybe a little too quick. You could probably expand it a little more, add descriptions. Show us the faces and the feelings with actions rather than just telling us. Also, just my thinking but I would have loved to know what your interpretation of heaven is. What does it look/feel like. You have plenty of words so you could go to town with it.
Congratulations on such a fine entry. You're a very talented writer.