Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: DULL (05/12/17)
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TITLE: Dylan's Angel | Previous Challenge Entry
By Anna Gregory
05/17/17 -
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Dylan sighed. So dull and boring he couldn’t stand it for another minute. Turning he glanced out the window. A strange light streamed across the window filling the sky. Curious Dylan rose from his chair and stepped to the window. His mouth, fell surprise filling his whole being. Smack dab in the center of the power lines an angel twisted and turned, fluttering its wings.
Dylan rubbed his eyes. He must be hallucinating. He closed his eyes, opened them. The angel was still there. Dylan stepped to his laptop, saved the file and closed it. Shuffling his feet, he walked to the door.
“Where are you going?” snapped Walter.
“Downstairs. There’s an angel caught in the power lines.”
“Dylan, you have a good imagination. There is no angel. Get back to work.”
“Nope, I got to go help an angel.” Dylan stepped out the door.
As the door slid shut, Walter huffed. “Stupid kid. Just needs to do his job.” Walter lifted his eyes to the window wondering at the light. Turning his face back to his work, he muttered. “Gotta get this done.”
At the bottom of the stairs, Dylan slid through the outer door. He stared at the power line where the tangled angel twisted and turned. “How am I going to get that angel untangled from those wires?”
Dylan glanced at his phone. “I’ll call Tom. He works for the power company.” Dylan dialed the familiar number. Tom answered on the third ring.
“Hey Tom, where are you?”
“Two blocks from where you work. Why?”
Dylan cleared his throat. “You might not believe this. I’m standing on Fourth Street right in front of my building. And well, there’s an angel caught in the power line. I thought maybe you could help.”
Tom coughed violently. “What did you just say?”
“There’s an angel caught in the power line. His wings caught, doesn’t seem able to get loose. Could you just drive over here?”
“Fine. I’m on my way. If you’re funnin’ me, I’ll get even.”
“Sure, that’s fine.”
Tom pulled the big truck to a stop near Dylan. Tom stared, his eyes focusing on the power line and the bright being glowing, twisting and turning, trying to get loose. Stepping from the truck, Tom motioned to Dylan.
“How’d he get there?”
“Don’t know. I just saw him minutes before I called. Can you do anything?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Tom reached for his radio. “Umm… Central, can you cut the power to the line on Fourth and Jasper? Yeah, that’s the one. There’s a object caught in the line. I can get it loose if you could cut the power for ten minutes. I’ll call you as soon as I remove the object so you can reset. Thanks. I’ll hurry.”
After setting the brake and unlatching the ladder, Tom revved the truck’s engine. The ladder extended and he started up the rungs. “Dylan, over here. I’ll let the angel down into your arms, I hope.
Tom lifted the angel free of the wires and gently slid him down the ladder. At the bottom Dylan reached his hands to catch the glorious creature.
Walter stared at his computer screen. Suddenly it went blank. “Stupid electricians cut the power again. I’ll give them a piece of my mind.” Walter stomped to the door and headed down the stairs.
Dylan lifted the angel to the ground. The angel lay still for a moment, then shifted his shimmering wings and sat upright. Lifting his wings, he fluttered them momentarily. Seconds later the angel flexed and winged his way upward.
“Wow!” Tom and Dylan stared. Tom finally lifted his radio. “Central, you can resume power.”
Walter’s anger rose by the second. He glared at the two men standing near the power truck. Suddenly Walter saw an angelic creature flex its wings and rise skyward. Walter’s scream pierced the air. “No such thing as an angel! Turn my power back on. Got to work on my numbers. No such thing!” Walter turned and raced frantically toward his building.
Tom stared at Dylan. “What’s with him?”
“Don’t know, but I’m not going back. Can’t do it anymore. Job’s horribly dull. I’m supposed to do something else. God sent that angel so I could see.”
Walter sat, his hands covering his eyes as he sobbed “Not again. No such thing as an angel.”
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A few things that I felt took away from the story: It seemed to me that the characters took this unbelievable event to calmly. I think if more emotional amazement was interjected it would have been more believable.
Also starting it out with a hook like, "Something is going to have to change or this dull boring job will do me in." A flash caught his attention from outside, his computer screen blinked.
Something of that sort to draw the reader into how this dull life will change.
Also check and recheck for silly spelling or grammar errors.
Keep writing and use FaithWriter's writing helps to improve. They are so beneficial to those wanting to grow.
God bless and keep writing.