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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Fragrance (10/24/05)

TITLE: Love's Promise
By Barbara Thompson-Young
10/25/05


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My flower garden looks a little forlorn, this blustery, cloudy day in October.
But you know how October goes; one day it's windy and wet, dark and gloomy;
and the next, the sun shines warmly, as if to tease and remind us of the summer
days we've recently left behind. It was such a day, earlier this week.
The sun’s warmth drew me outside to my flower bed. There, among the dying
flowers, I noticed a lovely red rose on my “Love’s Promise” rose bush. She
appeared to be taking advantage of the warm afternoon, trying to open up her petals
before “Jack Frost” would hit her with a blast of icy air.
I touched her. Immediately, a heady fragrance drifted up. I closed my eyes and
drank in her sweet aroma. Her fragrant beauty compelled me to not leave her to
the whim of October.
I went inside, grabbed a bud vase and filled it with water to give her a nourishing
drink. With vase and cutting tool in hand, I hurried back outside to rescue her.
Tenderly, I placed her in the vase.
Back to the house I went, trying to to decide the perfect spot for my prize. Several
times throughout the day, as I walked past her I paused, picked up the vase and again,
drank in her sweet aroma.
I thought of how a mere touch had caused a sweet, pleasant fragrance to be emitted
from her. A fragrance so powerful, I could not leave her to chance. I had to have that
flower close to me, where I could enjoy her beauty.
Much like the fragrance that was emitted when my hand touched the rose, my life
releases a certain aroma when others come near. Knowing this, I wonder if my life
causes others to desire a closeness with me, or does my fragrance cause them to hurry
away? It is my prayer today, that others see “Love's Promise" in me.


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This article has been read 1115 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 11/02/05
Your last sentence is wonderful, a great way to tie the whole piece together.

I'm not sure about using "she" to refer to the flower; it distracted me a bit.

I like your word choices; the piece appealed to the senses and I could almost experience it with you.
dub W11/02/05
Like mentioned above, there are some antecedant issues. Put a space between paragraphs for readability. Thanks for posting.
Nina Phillips11/02/05
Sense this was on the shortened side, and the way that was it was written-something like prose, I believe it is ok without spaces between paragraphs (that's me though). Calling the rose a "her" is that like calling a hurricane Wilma? Just kidding. I liked your story, especially the ending with the title. God bless ya, littlelight
Shari Armstrong 11/05/05
A wonderful comaparison -would make a great devitional piece
Patricia Todd09/30/07
Well this is a lovely piece of writing. Very well written and thought out.