The Official Writing Challenge
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07/18/05
A very sweet story. I liked the use of his internet name, "Muscar". That was fun.
07/18/05
I love this story and the peace you felt. God was telling you that everything was all right and those butterflies came to bring a message from God. They have a way of bringing good news. Blessings for your future.
07/18/05
Interesting, "Romantic", and well written.
Can't wait to hear the rest! God bless ya, littlelight
07/19/05
Your story is well-written, and romantic. Unfortunately, your fictional characters behave very unwisely. Your story seems so beautiful, but it beautifies something that is actually wrong. If the couple were married, it would be lovely. Since they are not, it isn't lovely. Though they didn't DO anything seemingly sinful, they are setting themselves up for a huge temptation. The danger of this is that your romantic reader could think, "I'd like to do that sometime." I'd never advise anyone to do this - it's dangerous. Stories ought not be written that show people behaving like this in a good light. My suggestion is to either change the story to married people or to add some wise, godly older people (and another tent) to the camping experience.

Hoping I've spoken the truth in love, Alyssa
I disagree with the comment left above. I believe that not only was this a well-written article, but it has a sweet story, whether the two were married or not. Coming from a situation very similar to that (my husband and I met online), I think this is an example of purity and love. The two characters showed self-control (is that not one of the fruits of the Spirit?) and love (another fruit). To say that a reader would be convinced into doing the same, would also be to say that someone reading one of Maxx's or Dust's articles would be convinced to do the things in those articles and therefore, those articles would require the same critique. My suggestion to the author, however, is to add a little bit more to the beginning as I was a bit confused as to why they were meeting there, and why the character would comment on "not having the usual butterflies". Other than that, it was a great read. Thank you for sharing.
07/19/05
Wouldn't it be funny if this were the author's true life story? I'd laugh. I think it was an adorable story. I frequently enjoyed cuddling and napping next to my sweetie (now my wife). I find it charming and cozy.
07/19/05
P.S. - I'd laugh b/c of the comment chastising her for relating her experiences. Not because it's anything less than sweet.
07/22/05
I thought this was a sweet story, nicely written. I think the behavior was completely appropriate. The only complaint I have is, "I want to know more!" I'm a sucker for a good love story and I want to know what happened from there. Did they marry and live happily ever after? Perhaps you could develop this one into a short story and submit it to the general submission area.
Well done!
Blessings, Lynda
07/22/05
A sweet, well told, romance. Fiction or fact, it works for me. I love the way you used Creation to show God's affirmation. Very true to life.
07/23/05
I love your title! And the whole article. I'm with Alyssa a bit ... would have liked a second tent and a chaperone ... but nothing happened, and you were quick to point that out. I think it is a great piece! So ... now the BIG question ... is it autobiographical???!!!
07/24/05
In this age of romance by email and internet, this is a sweet story, fictional or not. Well written. Thanks for posting.
07/24/05
Gave me butterflies :) Have to confess that I was a little worried about the wisdom of camping with someone that is only known from the internet but I suspect that it could be a true story and if so it is probably a happier ever after not a sicko thriller LOL
08/25/06
Shari, thank you for sharing a link to this beautiful love story. I believe God delights in bringing two together in love. I agree the butterflies were a symbol of His blessing!