The End (ii) | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: The End (ii) | Previous Challenge Entry
By Gail Blackwell
02/16/06
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The end had been a long time coming, but she was glad it was finally here. She had fought it for so long…had struggled every step of the way. What made getting to the point of acceptance so much harder was her determination to do it her way…to be in control of the situation.

Now that it had finally arrived, she was relieved. It could have happened sooner but she just could not let go. As she remembered the long, dreadful years of turmoil and grief, she could only shake her head in disbelief at her own stubbornness.

There had been many long, sleepless nights. While the rest of the world slumbered in their beds, she had walked the floor. There were times when she cried out to God in anger, accusing Him of not loving her. In the dark, fearful hours of the night she could not believe He really cared.

The days were no better. She could not concentrate on her work when her mind was tormented by the gravity of her situation. With the passing of time she had become bitter. Friends who had been sympathetic at first had grown weary of hearing about it. They had become cool toward her and seemed to avoid her. This only added to the pain.

Then guilt and self-condemnation became her constant companions. They dogged her steps and would not leave her alone. She was desperate for some relief and peace. What had happened to her? She used to sing softly as she worked, but now there was no song. Her face had forgotten how to smile.

She needed help. She knew the only One who could help was the One who knew her every thought and saw her deepest need. Even though she had accused Him of not caring, she knew in her heart He loved her unconditionally.

With every fiber of her being, she wanted to be delivered from this tortuous way of life she had imposed upon herself. She begged Him, “Lord, help me. I cannot go on living like this. You are the only One I can turn to. Please, Lord!”

He had been patiently waiting for this day. In one glorious moment when she raised her hands to heaven in a desperate plea, He had answered. He opened the windows of Heaven and poured His love all over her.

All of the years of anguish and pain came pouring out of her heart. She wailed, her body racked with sobs that would not end until all was poured out on the altar to Him.

When the tears finally subsided, she felt new. She had been washed clean from the inside out. What release! She felt her face genuinely smile for the first time in a long time. And what was that welling up in her heart? Was it a song? Yes, a song. He had given her song back. How good it felt to sing again, “Praise God from whom all blessings flow.”

So the end is here…the end of bitterness and anger, long sleepless nights and tortured days. Finally letting go of all that was poisoning her life brought the sweet release she had needed. What a joy to welcome a new beginning with a song in her heart once again.

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