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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Hotel/Motel (09/12/05)
Sam stared at his most recent purchase. When he placed it on the nightstand the room was full of afternoon sun, now it was almost too dark to see it clearly. Sam had seen very few things clearly lately.

A phone rang next door. He had disconnected the one in this room as soon as he checked in. He wiped at tears that had long since dried into brackish trails, though his shirt was still damp against his chest.

Sam stood on tingly legs and made his way to the bathroom. The water was cold on his face and took his breath. A streetlight allowed just enough glow to project an eerie image in the mirror- a pale and sallow specter Sam did not recognize.

Re-entering the meager room the nightstand again lured his attention.

“No! Not yet.” He whispered.

Sam rubbed his temples sensing a headache coming. He felt a small pang of hunger and wasn’t sure the last time he had eaten. But that twinge passed as quickly as it appeared. He was thirsty, however.

As he stepped into the night Sam heard voices and laughter. Following the cheerful noise he watched as a family enjoyed the small outdoor pool. As he observed father, mother and two children together the pain returned full force- so did the tears.

Back in his desolate room Sam removed the unopened bottle of whisky from the paper bag and placed it on the night stand next to the cup of coffee. He was not partial to liquor, but if any situation warranted it this one did. Removing the lid from the coffee the steamy aroma filled his nostrils- he took a long, slow breath. He added one half-and-half and took a long, slow sip.

His mind went back to the problem at hand. How could she do this? How could anyone just throw away six years of marriage? How could she take three year old Matthew and leave Sam with only divorce papers?


As he reached toward the nightstand a knock came at the door. No one was supposed to know he was here. But someone did know. Someone knew more about Sam than Sam ever did.

“Mister Lindsay?”

“Who is it?”

“The desk clerk, I have a message for you. I saw you return and tried to call your room but...”

“Hang on a minute.” Opening the nightstand drawer he quickly shoved everything but the coffee inside. He closed the drawer and opened the door.

“Here you go, sir.” The man said and handed him an envelope with Sam’s name hand printed on the front.

“Thanks. Sorry for the trouble.” Sam said and handed the man a couple of dollars. The clerk looked pleased and surprised at the same time. Sam guessed a person didn’t get many tips at a place like this. Except maybe ‘Here come the police.’

Re-bolting the door he sat on the edge of the bed watching the envelope. Finally he dared to open it.

“Sam, I went looking for you and found your car here. I have tried many times to call your room, but something must be wrong with your phone. So I decided to contact you this way. I will return at eight o’clock sharp and knock twice on your door then wait for five minutes. I would really like to talk, but if you do not answer the door I will go home.

Sincerely, Pastor Mike.

P.S. I talked to Beth. She loves you, but is very unhappy. She has agreed to attend counseling if you will.”

The message was from the pastor of a small church he and Beth had attended a few times.

Vision blurred with tears Sam reached into the nightstand and felt something other than his items. He pulled it out. It was a Bible.

Emptying the remaining contents of the drawer into the paper bag Sam drove two miles to the river. Parking on the shoulder in the center of the Main St. Bridge he walked to the railing. Climbing far enough to see the dark glimmering water rush by Sam mentally replayed his life- especially the last few weeks.

Nobody was in sight. Sam closed his eyes and cried out as loud as he could. Then, leaning over the rail he dropped the bag watching it disappear.

Back in his room Sam began reading from the Gideon’s gift. Then he prayed like he never had before.

He heard two raps on his door.
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This article has been read 1374 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
terri tiffany
09/19/05
This kept me hoping through the whole story! Nice writing!
Jan Ackerson
09/19/05
Very well written, and full of hope and reconciliation. Nicely done.
karen McLamb
09/19/05
Very Nice! I like the title of the story.
sandra snider
09/19/05
Great! It was suspenseful, and I was thinking he was going to jump over the railing to commit suicide; it was complete surprise for me to read that he dropped the paper bag! Level 2, here you come!
Donnah Cole
09/19/05
Very good! Good twist at the end!
Shirley Thomas
09/19/05
Absolutely wonderful storytelling and writing skills.
M'Kayla Kelly
09/19/05
Ooh - this one gave me chills. I was so certain he had a gun. Great writing, especially the sense of suspense! Be Blessed!
Pat Sciancalepore
09/20/05
This is way beyong beginner. I enjoyed this story and your writing style.
Lisa Graham
09/20/05
Please consider moving up to Level 2 - your writing deserves it.
Katherine Douglas
09/21/05
I too had chills reading this suspense filled story. I was also sure there was a gun on the night stand. wonderful ending! a true story of hope. I think you should move up a level too.
Deborah Porter 
09/26/05
Larry, this was a wonderful entry and definitely deserved to do so well in both the Level 1 awards and the Editors' Choice. Congratulations. I think the only thing I noted when I read it was that you need to just keep an eye on the punctuation. But apart from that, it was a terrific story. Time to mov eup to Level 2 I think. With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)
Debra Brand 
09/26/05
TERRIFIC!
Julianne Jones
09/26/05
Congrats on your well-deserved second place win. When he entered the contents of the drawer into the paper bag I had a mental image of the whisky soaking through everything onto the floor. LOL. Well done!
Larry Elliott
09/26/05
Thanks for all the comments. The responses are just what I had in mind when I wrote this, omitting some details such as what exactly he had bought and placed on the nightstand. I intended to get get the reader involved and using their own imagination at certain points. God Bless you all.
Crista Darr
09/29/05
Great piece of writing and the title is perfect! Congratulations!
Deborah Porter 
11/04/05
Hi Larry. I'm just preparing the new FaithWriters' Anthology and need a short (two to three sentences) bio piece to include in a new section for the book - "Meet Our Authors." The bio notes need to be written in the third person. Could you please send it to me, urgently, via a Private Message? Thanks so much. Love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)