Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Hide and Seek (08/07/08)
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TITLE: Overcoming Shadows | Previous Challenge Entry
By Racheal Chand
08/13/08 -
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A twig snagged my new clothing but without care I lunged myself deeper into the emerald abyss; my hiding place.
I couldn’t find her-my partner in crime. She too must be hiding; trying to absorb what had happened. I attempted to make sense of this new knowledge as I crept further into the shadows.
My heart was beating-practically out of my chest. I could still feel the change occurring, like darkness overcoming the pure light that once resided in my chamber. Then, like the call of a bird announcing the morning’s arrival; the garden began to sing welcome to the light of the world.
His footsteps were so close, or were they only echoing from the soils praise? I stopped moving, I even held my breath so I could truly hear.
“Adam.” I heard my name called, but it was spoken not by mouth, but from heart to heart, from Father to child.
“Adam, why are you hiding from me?” The words, though gently spoken held great magnitude.
The question tore at the remaining light which was fighting against the darkness, battling against the knowledge. The struggle within continued as the words soundlessly ricocheted off the walls of my soul.
I believed I would suffocate by the pressure exerted from the walls of my heart, but I didn’t, instead the walls that were erected by one lapsed moment of faith, began to crumble. They cracked and began to cease and desist. The walls came down and I realized how foolish I had been. With each fiber of dust that fell and crumbled to the floors of my soul I knew I needed to come out from hiding and seek my Father. I knew He would know what to do.
I slowly came from the bushes. I came forward into the center of the Garden where I knew He would be. I realized he had never left; only I had. He was ever remaining, ever loving, ever with me.
He stood still as I came forward. His gaze traveled to my wounds, my scrapes- my sin.
What I feared never happened; the abandonment never was birthed. Instead, He wrapped his arms around me and tended to my wounds, forgave me of my sins and filled my heart with His word.
This never would have happened if I hadn’t come out of hiding to seek His face and the eyes that forever look at me with true love.
Sometimes we run in the wrong direction. Sometimes we hide in the wrong place.
Run to God and hide beneath His wings. No matter what you have done God is waiting in the center of your heart chamber beckoning you back to the place where you belong, calling you forth from the shadows of Darkness and into His all encompassing Light.
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I'd consider dropping the last couple of paragraphs. I think your story made its point well without them, and you could have used them to carry the story a bit further.
Great job. Keep writing.