Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Mother (as in maternal parent) (04/24/08)
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TITLE: Being Mom: An Awesome Privilege | Previous Challenge Entry
By Allan Morelos
04/30/08 -
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“I can’t do anything right!” I complained.
“Don’t be hard on yourself,” replied Joanne, my very dear friend.
“When Jenny was ignored at school and was deeply hurt, I had no words of comfort to say.”
“Really?” Joanne inquired.
“When Jenny had one of her asthma attacks, I panicked and wasn’t able to really help,” I continued.
“When Jenny was really bored and had nothing else to do, I had no special activities or fun things to offer her. What kind of a mom am I?”
“No, you’re doing fine. You’re a great mom,” Joanne said, sounding to be as encouraging as possible.
“I once felt so bad about my being a mom too until one day I realized that motherhood is not about being the best mom in the world,” she said.
“It’s not about life without fail. Nor is it about being perfect as a mom in every way,” she continued.
“From a different perspective, being a mom is a highly-privileged and an honorable calling from God,” she beamed.
“You’re kidding! How can something as mundane be a calling from God?” I queried.
“Hannah was a mom to Samuel, a servant of God and a great priest of ancient Israel. And so was Mary to the only Lord and Savior of the world, Jesus the Christ,” Joanne said. “Can you believe that it’s the only ‘achievement’ they got?”
“I’m no Hannah. And much more so, not a Mary!” I said.
“Though you’re not in any way like Hannah or Mary, you are as equally called of God to be a mom to Jenny. That is a privilege,” she said.
“Who can embrace her the way you can when she’s ignored and hurting and crushed? Though you may have no words of comfort to console her, you do have the power to accept her and embrace her and assure her that she’s greatly loved and truly wanted and deeply longed for,” she emphasized.
“It’s true that you’re not like Mary, the mother of Jesus. But you are as chosen and appointed of God to be the mother of Jenny. That is a great honor,” she exclaimed.
“Who can truly be with Jenny when asthma attacks or emotional traumas or spiritual threats come her way? Though you feel fear or panic or angst in your response, your very own presence in her difficult moments is a sufficient channel of God’s grace and mercy for her in her time of deep need,” she continued.
I sat there silent but touched in my inner being.
“Indeed, being her mom is a gift from God. Through this exercise of His call to nurture Jenny in the way He designs her and to nourish her in the path of righteousness that He has prepared for her even before the foundations of the world, it is such a joy inexpressible!”
“But…” I muttered.
“You may not be able to offer her fun things to do or special activities to entertain her, but you do have the awesome privilege to help her understand God’s grand purpose for her life and show her His wondrous perspective for her daily existence,” she said.
“Being Jenny’s one and only mom is a great honor, indeed, in the sight of God – the only One who can truly mother us all,” she said.
Joanne opened her NIV Bible and opened to Isaiah 49:15. She read it as softly and as persuasively, “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and no compassion on the child she has borne?”
“I don’t think so,” she commented.
Then, she finished the verse where the greatest comforter and nurturer and purpose-giver of all says, “Though she may forget, I will not forget you!”
“Yes, God will never forget me or Jenny or anyone who embraces His call to live for Him in our noble roles or in our most mundane tasks,” I concluded.
I shed a tear or two and thanked my dear friend, Joanne – my mom.
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Alot of mothers feel this way and I'm sure you will help alot of mothers on there!
Great scriptures it went great with what you were feeling! Keep Writing, and stay encouraged that she is a special gift from God, some people want children so badly and can't have any.
Though the dialog was good, I felt as if some descriptive setting would have given me a little more connection to the characters. It's probably just a personal preference, though.
Your story had a great message and I thank you for sharing.
If you see suggestions in the yellow boxes about how to improve your story it is only because your writing is of such quality that your readers want to see you excell even more. :)
With that in mind, I offer one small hint for what it is worth: the narration will flow more naturally if you use actions for dialogue tags rather than a 'he said, she said.' Your reader can easily pick up on who is speaking if you name the person, tell body position, action, or facial expression.
Thanks for this carefully prepared piece. Blessings.
I suggest that you only break your dialog when the next person speaks...unless, of course, one person has a long 'speech'. Then break it with action or with unfinished quote marks to indicate the same speaker. The tags were a little distracting from your story.
It's a great blessing to be mother, even though we can never be perfect.