Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Exhale (08/15/13)
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TITLE: Breathe In Christ, Exhale Heavenly Wealth | Previous Challenge Entry
By Debbie Harris
08/17/13 -
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And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
Proverbs 8:19
My fruit is better than gold, yea, than fine gold; and my revenue than choice silver.
Breath in the
Black onyx carnality
Found in the
Sin filled nature
Exhale carnal self.
Breath in the
Gold and silver
Word of God
In every area
Of our lives,
Exhale the
Son Filled
Righteousness
Of our precious
Triune God.
Breathe in
A critical sprit,
A fake pyrite gold
Whose source
Is always wanting
To be better,
To look better,
To perform better
Than everyone else,
Exhale a life
That is full of
Destruction,
Conflict and
Enemy driven
Luciferian Schemes.
Breathe in the
Unconditional
Love of
Jesus Christ
Exhale,
Forgiveness,
Love and
Diamonds of,
Spiritual wealth.
Breathe in Christ,
Exhale spiritual health,
Not based on worldly standards,
But on Biblical standards
That create hearts and lives
That are richly emblazoned
With ruby filled humble
Acts of Godly gentleness
And lives that esteem
Others better than themselves.
Breath in by faith the
Great expectation,
That our God
Can remove any
And every gem
Filled mountain,
And exhale
Victorious,
Joyous.
Exuberant,
Emmanuel,
Christ centered
Fearless living
And granite like
Grace filled giving.
Breath in the precious
Bejeweled doctrines of our faith,
Exhale Christ Himself!
Father may
We breathe in
The multi-faceted
Attributional splendor
Of our Triune God and
Breath in Christ,
Breath in Christ,
Breath in Christ,
And exhale our
Triune God’s
Spiritual Treasury
Of Heavenly wealth.
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There are several instances where you've used 'breath' instead of 'breathe,' and those interfered a bit with the flow of the poem. And--personal choice--I'd like to see less capitalization here. Since it's free verse and the lines are already shortened, it can read as 'choppy', and the readers' eyes tend to interpret a capital letter as the beginning of a new chunk of meaning. If you capitalized less often, the poem might be a bit smoother.
You're a gifted poet, and I love the parallel structure of your verses, and the opposition of what happens when we breathe in Christ or when we breathe in evil.
Thank you. God bless~