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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Outgoing (05/05/11)

TITLE: Incoming
By Ennis Smith
05/12/11


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“I don’t want to leave. I happen to like it here. She’s so easy to manipulate. I barely have to lift a finger of suggestion because she’s so enamored with my promises. All I have to do is hint at the idea of self gratification, and her heart does the rest. It was so easy to bring her to this point.”

Sin peered through the transparent spiritual veil, as he gloatingly spoke at Grace. For years now, he maintained an unchallenged hold over Jordyn’s life. How delicious it was to see this woman time and again chase after the insignificant wants and desires of the world, only to fall deeper into Sin’s hands. Just thinking about the end result of Jordyn’s life, made Sin erupt in boisterous laughter. He composed himself long enough to glance a red eye toward Grace, sitting quietly beside him.

A content and quaint smile peaked at the corners of Grace’s lips. That subtle smile signified a knowing; the typing of knowing Sin might not be too happy with. As the red demon considered this point, he turned toward the little angel and huffed. Tendrils of red smoke exhaled through the demon’s nostrils.

“By the way, little-Grace, what brings you to my neck of the ethereal plane anyway? You didn’t come over here to bask in my conquest of another lost soul, so what news do you bring from your father now? Other than informing me of my impending departure, which was quite hilarious I might add, what real message do you have for me?” Sin chided.

Grace seemed lost in his own thoughts as he stared through the spiritual veil. He watched as Jordyn rifled through the bathroom medicine cabinet, and settled her hand around a bottle of prescription pills. She wrestled the cap open then dumped the entire contents of the bottle into her free hand. Pills spilled across the floor.

“Not long now,” Grace whispered. “Almost time. Sin…I want you to watch this carefully. See the fruits of your labor, savor the moment while you can.”

Sin sneered at the little angel. He huffed plumes of smoke defiantly at Grace, as they both watched Jordyn swallow one pill, and then another.

“HA! I’m watching alright, you little goody-two-shoes! You see that? She’s mine! The time has come for her to die. I plan on claiming her soul momentarily,” Sin pronounced as he glowered at Grace.

Grace simply turned a sympathetic look toward the demon. The knowing smile evolved into a broad grin across his angelic face.

“I’m here to celebrate your outgoing reign over Jordyn’s life, Sin. You see, the time has come; my father has granted me clemency rights over this woman. This is as far as you will take her.”

The angel’s warm smile infuriated the demon. As he screamed curses at the angel, tongues of red flame licked at Grace’s wing-tips. Still, the little angel smiled.

“Goodbye, Sin. We will cross paths again,” Grace said.

“I’m not going anywhere, you little…” Sin bellowed, but his tirade was cut short at the sound of Jordyn’s words.

As he turned his head disbelievingly toward the spiritual veil, Jordyn dropped to her knees, onto the cold bathroom floor. He watched the young woman clasp her hands together.

“No!” he screamed.

“Jesus…I can’t do this anymore,” Jordyn pleaded through streaming tears. “Please help me! I’m in trouble, and I don’t know where else to go. GOD please save my life.”

Sin attacked the spiritual veil in a rage, but could not penetrate its boundaries. He watched helplessly, as Grace floated through the veil and gently wrapped his wings around the young woman.

As Grace settled over Jordyn, she felt a sudden warmth envelope her skin. Within her mind, she heard the words spoken as clearly as if someone were standing over her.

“I’m here Jordyn, and I will never leave you.”


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This article has been read 858 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Debra Burchett 05/12/11
I loved you challenge story. it was wonderful. I really like it when Satan loses again!
Kate Oliver Webb05/12/11
Thank you for a very apt and understandable and original description of the spiritual battle waged over a soul. Loved the ending. Great job!
Belinda Borradaile05/13/11
Very cool!!
I love how this story plays out and I like the style you have written in. Just really tickled me:)
Jackie Smithwick05/14/11
I really like this. Great way to share your testamony. God is so very good and yes full of grace!
Bonnie Bowden 05/15/11
This is definitely my favorite story so far. I loved how grace flies in to stop sin at the last moment.

Very good storytelling ability. Keep up the good work.
Catrina Bradley 05/16/11
YAY!!!! Your ending made me want to cheer, so I did. :) Excellent!!! Exciting, fast-paced, and utterly captivating. I saw a few very minor glitches here and there, but the story is so good and so well written, they didn't slow my reading a bit. Two thumbs up from me! :)
Caitlin Dea05/18/11
I wasn't sure how this one was going to end :) Glad that God and Grace took over. Great story. I think you'll place well this week :) Keep on writing...
Jennifer Hill05/18/11
Wow! You're in my list of favorites! I could picture the story word for word, perfectly! You did a wonderful job describing sin and grace as beings. It was very interesting and kept me reading excitedly to the end. Thank you for sharing!
Bonnie Bowden 05/20/11
CONGRATULATIONS on your 1st place win. I really was enraptured by your story and I am so glad you won.
Erin Dijkema05/25/11
This is so amazing! I couldn't believe the talented story telling you put to use to powerfully transform the simple angel vs. devil technique.