The Official Writing Challenge
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It's not bad but it needs some kind of Christian message. They could be members of a Church, sought christian counseling. I know it's just words but even christians have problems like this. Don't let me discourage you. And Keep writing
05/09/09
This is a perspective we almost never read--the battered husband. You've written it well.
Very good message and I agree with Jan, it's one that doens't get written much about. Thx for writing this. I like how you have hsown the humaness of the main character as he finally breaks after all he has tried to keep hidden. Great job!!
Well written from an angle we don't often think about. Good job!
05/12/09
This is a powerfully strong story. Like others have said, it's something that isn't talked (or written) about that often. I pray that the right person will read this and receive strength to do what they need to do to get out of an explosive situations. Well done!
It's a brave beginner writer who tackles a subject like this. I'm proud that you're a Faithwriters member. Nice writing.
Patty
05/13/09
I like the way you described the details. You have great talent for story writing. Hope to read more of your writings.
05/13/09
I'll add my cudo's to the others- this was a powerful piece!
I was struck by the man's question of his own manhood- That, I believe, is a markedly Christian element in your work. What is it that marks a good man? I believe that your character is more of a man than most- because he refused to strike back, even in self-defense. Thank you for this piece!
05/13/09
Good title. The writing style and voice is right on.
Mona
05/13/09
This is some wonderful writing to find in the beginnner's level! I suspect you won't be here for long. I really liked the line "worrying the corner of the sheet to avoid Gary's intense stare." I also think it was interesting with the way you had the husband being beaten. Makes one see things from a whole new perspective.