The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
10/09/08
Stories about Christmas can be difficult to write with out becoming 'too sappy'. but this was done so neat and tidy and had all the right elements for producing tugs on the heart. Reads like a true story and my heart aches for every little girl (and boy) out there who have experienced the same feelings of abandonment.
Christmas can certainly be one of the happiest and one of the saddest times- especially whe expectations, often idealistic ones, are not realised. Thanks for the reminder.
10/09/08
Nice story--you could enhance it a bit with some dialogue, and a little bit more "showing, not telling".

How nice for the little girl that you were able to be there for her!
Thank you for this tender story of a little girl who needed an ear to listen to her pain.
Heartfelt, descriptive writing. Nice job. :)
10/13/08
This is a nice reminder for all to be other-centered always, but at the holidays especially. It seems that loneliness or other pains become magnified during this time.