The Official Writing Challenge
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Poor Andrew. Such hard lessons young people have to work through. Nice job with the story. :)
02/22/08
Bullying is certainly a huge problem!

Think about helping your reader to get more into Andrew's head. Instead of telling us how he felt, show us by describing his physical reactions. It's always better to paint a picture for the reader and let them draw the conclusions.

The regret that he felt at the end was perfect for the proverb for this week.
02/22/08
Great writing! I've heard stories from my son of his being bullied at times too. It's always so difficult at their young age to know how to have the maturity to deal with it. God bless :)
I guess we'll always have the shy and the bold with us. But I like that Andrew was not proud of his actions. Relates a lesson to all of us there.
02/23/08
I like the way you were able to portray the message without having a "dramatic" ending. During the story I was ready for Andrew to have a breakdown and formulate a rebellion against the bullies, but the simple ending worked much better.

This is an issue that I often wonder how to tell my children how to deal with. For myself, I was bullied a little in high school and then hit the weight room and bulked up so that it wasn't an issue, but instead it did lead to a few things that I'm not proud of. Occasionally, my son has problems at school and it's always difficult to guide him when this happens, because you know that fighting back may not be right, but it makes it stop.
02/23/08
You did a good job telling us about Andrew's story. Bullying is a major issues in the schools. We need to talk about it more with our kids, definitely. Keep on writing!
Laury
02/24/08
A good story and it fits the topic well. There were a few small punctuation errors. Keep writing.
02/24/08
Bullies seem to have majar issues themselves and
it never feel good to be bullied by a bully.
Bullies seem to always pick on a nice kid or someone excelling
in something or pick on someone smaller than they are or they are just
lacking in the attenions they need or something.


Why do people become bullies?


"to be a Christian. Yet, Andrew asked himself, did this boy really deserve

what he had done to him? Was there a better way he could have handled the

situation?

Andrew could not shake the guilt that he felt. No matter how he tried to look

at how he had stood up to this boy, he now felt like he had stooped to his

level, and this feeling would not go away."

The conclusion: Great Lesson To Learn!

Like to read More from you. : )

I too, Learn from all your Comments. Thank you.

Enjoy and Keep in the Writing Lane.
God bless, Helen