The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
02/08/07
Wow! What a powerful story.
It was a little unclear when the speaker switched back from the sniper to the nurse.
Great writing that kept my attention all the way through.
02/14/07
I like your story a lot but I would leave off the part about fishing and let the story stand without it. They don't seem to fit together and they seem a bit forced. Very good writing though - you draw your reader and keep him. Your characters are strong and believable. Well done.
02/14/07
An interesting story, but I too thought the end was a little abrupt. But you did hold my attention throughout.
02/17/07
Welcome to Faithwriters, Clyde! I see you have "just arrived," and I shall have to "track" you, as you seem to have a wealth of gripping stories to tell. Besides that, I recognize a kindred spirit when I read that you have been a nurse for veterans. I still say that soldiers are the best patients in the world, and my best nursing experiences have been with them.

This story gives tremendous insight into an untapped resource for the writer. So many stories need to be told.

Thank you for finding me with your welcome comment on my "Memorials" story. I look forward to getting acquainted with you through your writing.
I liked the idea and thought of this piece. I like how you used something that you experienced to bring out a personal feeling towards your christian walk.I also do this in alot of the things that I write. However, I felt that the transition from the patient/sniper to your exclamation was a little sudden. A softer transition would make the story flow a little easier in the eyes of the reader. Otherwise, well done.
This has very good content. I will not comment on anything else because I'm sure you have grown as a writer by now. But the story itself was wonderful. Thanks for sharing.