Prayers
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God's Word is filled with complaints in prayer.
It was a Jewish conviction that all emotions should be expressed, and none should be suppressed. They did not leave any feelings out of their songs just because they were negative feelings. If they felt hate, they sang about hate. If they felt depressed, they sang about depression. If they felt God-forsaken, they sang about it, or if they felt God was not being fair, they sang their complaints to Him. They sang how they felt, and they felt all the emotions, good and bad, and so they are all in their Psalms.
It is hard for us to buy into this. We prefer to sing only the positive feelings, and go to therapy to deal with the negative ones. The Jews had no therapists, and so they had to bring all their feelings to God. God was the one they had to deal with to have mental health. They had to get all their negative feelings out before God. They had to lay all the cards on the table, and be open and completely honest before God.
Only a secure people can feel free to complain to God and sing about it in worship, or confront God with their complaints in prayer. This sounds to us like being a rebel child, but the Psalms make it clear that it can be the way of the secure child that knows he or she is loved even if they do not understand God's ways, and tell Him so. The more intimate the relationship, the more likely one feels free to complain without loss of love. Children develop bad feelings toward their parents, and will on occasion blast out with words like I hate you, or your way of doing things stinks, I wish I had been born to other parents. You can respond to these negative thoughts with a whip, or you can say, I'm glad you could be honest with your feelings. Let's talk about them, and see why you feel that way.
EXAMPLES
Moses
Ex. 5:22-23, " 22 Moses returned to the LORD and said, “Why, Lord, why have you brought trouble on this people? Is this why you sent me? 23 Ever since I went to Pharaoh to speak in your name, he has brought trouble on this people, and you have not rescued your people at all.”
Num. 11:10-15, " 10 Moses heard the people of every family wailing at the entrance to their tents. The LORD became exceedingly angry, and Moses was troubled. 11 He asked the LORD, “Why have you brought this trouble on your servant? What have I done to displease you that you put the burden of all these people on me? 12 Did I conceive all these people? Did I give them birth? Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms, as a nurse carries an infant, to the land you promised on oath to their ancestors? 13 Where can I get meat for all these people? They keep wailing to me, ‘Give us meat to eat!’ 14 I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. 15 If this is how you are going to treat me, please go ahead and kill me—if I have found favor in your eyes—and do not let me face my own ruin.”
Here is a prayer of utter frustration and despair. I have had it, help me or just kill me. He is not the only one with this attitude. Job 6:8-9, "8 “Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant what I hope for, 9 that God would be willing to crush me, to let loose his hand and cut off my life!" Elijah in I Kings 19:3-5, " Elijah was afraid[a] and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” 5 Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep. Jonah 4:3, "Now, LORD, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.”
Joshua in Jos.7: 6-9 after the defeat at Ai, "Then Joshua tore his clothes and fell facedown to the ground before the ark of the LORD, remaining there till evening. The elders of Israel did the same, and sprinkled dust on their heads. 7 And Joshua said, “Alas, Sovereign LORD, why did you ever bring this people across the Jordan to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us? If only we had been content to stay on the other side of the Jordan! 8 Pardon your servant, Lord. What can I say, now that Israel has been routed by its enemies? 9 The Canaanites and the other people of the country will hear about this and they will surround us and wipe out our name from the earth. What then will you do for your own great name?”
Psalm 22, " 1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from my cries of anguish?
2 My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, but I find no rest.
Jeremiah 4:10, " 10 Then I said, “Alas, Sovereign LORD! How completely you have deceived this people and Jerusalem by saying, ‘You will have peace,’ when the sword is at our throats!” This is more than complaint, it is accusation.
Jeremiah 12:1-4, " 1 You are always righteous, LORD,
when I bring a case before you.
Yet I would speak with you about your justice:
Why does the way of the wicked prosper?
Why do all the faithless live at ease?
2 You have planted them, and they have taken root;
they grow and bear fruit.
You are always on their lips
but far from their hearts.
3 Yet you know me, LORD;
you see me and test my thoughts about you.
Drag them off like sheep to be butchered!
Set them apart for the day of slaughter!
4 How long will the land lie parched
and the grass in every field be withered?
Because those who live in it are wicked,
the animals and birds have perished.
Moreover, the people are saying,
“He will not see what happens to us.”
Jeremiah 20:7-18, " 7 You deceived[a] me, LORD, and I was deceived[b];
you overpowered me and prevailed.
I am ridiculed all day long;
everyone mocks me.
8 Whenever I speak, I cry out
proclaiming violence and destruction.
So the word of the LORD has brought me
insult and reproach all day long.
9 But if I say, “I will not mention his word
or speak anymore in his name,”
his word is in my heart like a fire,
a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in;
indeed, I cannot.
10 I hear many whispering,
“Terror on every side!
Denounce him! Let’s denounce him!”
All my friends
are waiting for me to slip, saying,
“Perhaps he will be deceived;
then we will prevail over him
and take our revenge on him.”
11 But the LORD is with me like a mighty warrior;
so my persecutors will stumble and not prevail.
They will fail and be thoroughly disgraced;
their dishonor will never be forgotten.
12 LORD Almighty, you who examine the righteous
and probe the heart and mind,
let me see your vengeance on them,
for to you I have committed my cause.
13 Sing to the LORD!
Give praise to the LORD!
He rescues the life of the needy
from the hands of the wicked.
14 Cursed be the day I was born!
May the day my mother bore me not be blessed!
15 Cursed be the man who brought my father the news,
who made him very glad, saying,
“A child is born to you—a son!”
16 May that man be like the towns
the LORD overthrew without pity.
May he hear wailing in the morning,
a battle cry at noon.
17 For he did not kill me in the womb,
with my mother as my grave,
her womb enlarged forever.
18 Why did I ever come out of the womb
to see trouble and sorrow
and to end my days in shame?
Here is a prayer for abortion. He wishes that he had been killed in his mother's womb. That is true despair.
Lamentations 1:20-22, "“See, LORD, how distressed I am!
I am in torment within,
and in my heart I am disturbed,
for I have been most rebellious.
Outside, the sword bereaves;
inside, there is only death.
21 “People have heard my groaning,
but there is no one to comfort me.
All my enemies have heard of my distress;
they rejoice at what you have done.
May you bring the day you have announced
so they may become like me.
22 “Let all their wickedness come before you;
deal with them
as you have dealt with me
because of all my sins.
My groans are many
and my heart is faint.”
Habakkuk 1:2-4, " 2 How long, LORD, must I call for help,
but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!”
but you do not save?
3 Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?
Destruction and violence are before me;
there is strife, and conflict abounds.
4 Therefore the law is paralyzed,
and justice never prevails.
The wicked hem in the righteous,
so that justice is perverted.
Philip Yancey in Prayer Does It Make Any Difference wrote the following paragraphs that illustrate complaining or argumentative prayers. This, by the way is one of the best books you can read on prayer and all of its aspects.
“Abraham Heschel, the great Jewish student of the Prophets, underscores their spirit of protest. The refusal to accept the harshness of God's ways in the name of His love was an authentic form of prayer. Indeed, the ancient Prophets of Israel were not in the habit of consenting to God's harsh judgment and did not simply nod, saying “Thy will be done.” They often challenged him, as if to say. “Thy will be changed.” Heschel adds, “Man should never capitulate, even to the Lord.”
Walter Wink, “Biblical prayer is impertinent, persistent, shameless, indecorous. It is more like haggling in an outdoor bazaar than the polite monologues of the church.”
Yancey tells of people praying politely in his church, but one day he heard a young woman pray like this, “God, I hated you after the rape! How could you let this happen to me?” The congregation fell silent as she on. “And I hated the people in this church to tried to comfort me. I didn't want comfort. I wanted revenge. I wanted to hurt back. I thank you, God, that you didn't give up on me, and neither did some of these people. You kept after me, and I came back to you now and ask that you heal the scars in my soul.”
Yancy tells of a Rabbi who was talking to a man who was angry at God but always expressed it toward those who were serving God. He took him to the wailing wall and told him to poor out his anger. For more than a hour the man struck the wall with his hands and screamed his heart out. After that he began to cry little by little his cries became sobs and then turned into prayers.
The point of all this is, prayers of complaint are part of Biblical psychology. They let people in deep anxiety and despair let their emotions be expressed so they can find relief. If they keep them boxed in and not expressed, they will lead to serious psychological problems, including the high risk of suicide. People need a God who can listen to anything, no matter how terrible it is. The Bible deals with a people who were often greatly troubled by many things, and most of it was due to their own sin, but they still needed to get their feelings expressed, and the Psalms gave them an outlet for this relief.
We tend to think of the Psalms as praise, but the reality is that seventy percent of the Psalms are lament and complaint songs. Getting the negatives of life expressed in complete honest to God is an important part of physical, mental and spiritual health. Praying the Psalms, and especially the ones we never sing becaue they are so negative, can be a great benefit for keeping us from holding things in that hurt us. Honest with God in prayer is a key to maintaining good over all health.
The amazing thing is that God Himself practices getting his negative feelings expressed. He has frustrations with man just as man has frustrations with Him. Listen to both God and man express their feelings of frustration with each other in these verses.
GOD'S FRUSTRATION
Exodus 10:3 So Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh and said to him, "This is what the LORD, the God of the Hebrews, says: 'How long will you refuse to humble yourself before me? Let my people go, so that they may worship me.
Exodus 16:28 Then the LORD said to Moses, "How long will you [ The Hebrew is plural. ] refuse to keep my commands and my instructions?
Numbers 14:11 The LORD said to Moses, "How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the miraculous signs I have performed among them?
Numbers 14:26-29, "The LORD said to Moses and Aaron: 27 "How long will this wicked community grumble against me? I have heard the complaints of these grumbling Israelites. 28 So tell them, 'As surely as I live, declares the LORD, I will do to you the very things I heard you say: 29 In this desert your bodies will fall—every one of you twenty years old or more who was counted in the census and who has grumbled against me.
1 Samuel 16:1 [ Samuel Anoints David ] The LORD said to Samuel, "How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king.
Matthew 17:17 "O unbelieving and perverse generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me."
Matthew 23:37"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.
MAN'S FRUSTRATION
Psalm 6:3 My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD, how long?
Psalm 13:1 [ For the director of music. A psalm of David. ] How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
Psalm 13:2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Psalm 35:17 O Lord, how long will you look on? Rescue my life from their ravages, my precious life from these lions.
Psalm 79:5 How long, O LORD ? Will you be angry forever? How long will your jealousy burn like fire?
Psalm 80:4 O LORD God Almighty, how long will your anger smolder against the prayers of your people?
Psalm 79:5 How long, O LORD ? Will you be angry forever? How long will your jealousy burn like fire?
Psalm 80:4 O LORD God Almighty, how long will your anger smolder against the prayers of your people?
Habakkuk 1:2 [ Habakkuk's Complaint ] How long, O LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, "Violence!" but you do not save?
Revelation 6:10 They called out in a loud voice, "How long, Sovereign Lord, holy and true, until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our blood?"
Complaint is a two way street, and both God and man travel it, making it clear that it is valid to complain and get your negative feeling out in the open in relation to each other. This does not justify being a complaining person before other people, but that it can be of value to express your complaints to God in prayer. A healthy relationship to God calls for the expression of our negative feelings.
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