Marriage
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COMMON JOY KILLERS TO AVOID IN MARRIAGE
Your marriage is not meant to be a burden but a blessing. As originally designed by God, marriage is intended to add significant values to your life, and never meant to discount or subtract from your life. It is a fact that marriage comes with a number of responsibilities, and certain sacrifices or commitments are expected on the part of both the man and the woman. However, marriage is never meant to be a burden but a blessing.
For your marriage to continue to be a blessing and spring of joy as God designed it, it’s important you identify certain things which kill joy in marriage so as to avoid them completely.
There are many things which are capable of killing joy and excitement in the home, especially if they are allowed to thrive without immediate check. We will take time to look at few of these common joy killers believers are to avoid in their marriage relationships.
Unforgiveness & Resentment
One thing that kills fast the joy of many marriages is unforgiveness. In marriage, frictions are inevitable. Misunderstandings are bound to happen, but it’s important you understand that forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. If your heart is full of unforgiveness and grief over past misdeeds or errors of your spouse, you can never have true joy. With unforgiveness buried deep down in your heart, you can never experience the flow of true joy that the Holy Spirit brings, and when there’s no joy, there’s no life
To enjoy your marriage, one decision you must learn to make in advance is the decision to pardon the wrongdoings of your spouse no matter the magnitude. If you understand the fact that the only condition to find forgiveness with God is to also pardon the wrongdoings of others (including your spouse) who offend you, then it should be clear to you that you don’t really have any choice in the matter of forgiveness. It doesn’t matter how hurt you are, it doesn’t matter how much wound it has caused to your feelings, it may indeed be difficult to forgive and forget, but you must seek the help of the Holy Spirit to forgive absolutely so as the free your heart from bondage. ! Unforgiveness will affect your health, sap your energy, and steal away your joy, unforgiveness is a great bondage!
If you don’t want to kill your joy, you must be ready at all time to forgive your spouse when you’re wronged.
Bible reference: Eph. 4:26; Luke 17:3 – 4; Matt. 11:26.
Lack of Commendation and Complements
Another thing that can starve love and joy to death in your marriage is lack of commendations and compliments. Many of us are very good at attacking our spouses; we are very quick to see and condemn the short comings, but turn blind eyes to those things which should be appreciated and commended in our spouses. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not out of place to point out wrongs or mistakes, but when this gets to a point that all you see at all times are errors, mistakes and short comings of your spouse, you are opening doors to killers of joy in your relationship.
Learn to be generous with genuine praise, commendations and compliments for your spouse. Sweet words, praise, commendations and compliments have a way of building self esteem of partners in marriage. Even when you want to point out a wrongdoings or mistakes of your spouse, learn to do it in love. Given the way we are made, every one of us wants to feel needed, be commended and appreciated. To starve your spouse of genuine appreciation, commendation and praise when needed, is to silently kill excitement in your home.
Are you so critical, judgmental and impossible to such extent that you never see anything to appreciate or commend in your spouse? You are opening doors to joy killers already. Be generous with PRAISE, if you don’t sing the praise of your spouse, nobody will!
Bible reference: Luke 6:37; Eph. 4:2.
Lack of Laughter
How often do you laugh together with your spouse? Most couples are too busy and too serious to create time to laugh together. According to the book of Ecclesiastes 3:4, there’s a time to laugh! If you and your spouse are living under a ‘tensed’ atmosphere, it’s because there’s no laughter in your home. When you laugh together, the atmosphere is bound to change. If you don’t want to starve your love and kill your joy, you must look for things that you and your spouse can laugh over together.
Laughter possesses a great power which you must not fail to put to use in your marriage.
You must consciously create and look for opportunities or avenues that will make you laugh together with your spouse because lack of laughter can diminish your joy.
Bible Reference: Ecclesiastes 10:19; Gen. 26:8.
Ezekiel Olukolajo
Contact: [email protected]
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