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Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. (Mt 5:8)
I want to see God. I understand that on Sinai’s rocky crags, He told Moses, "You can not see My face, for no man shall see Me and live."(Ex 33:20) I understand that the weakness of this human flesh cannot withstand the glory radiating from His Holy countenance. But it does not make me want to see Him any less.
So, from time to time, I pray, “Lord, give me that pure heart. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Whatever it takes, whatever the cost, just give me You.” When I pray that way, I mean it. But I am beginning to understand that if I am going to pray with such radical devotion, I better be ready to hang on. Malachi 3 says that the Lord is a refiner’s fire whose heat will purify the silver in order that God may have an acceptable sacrifice. He sifts and searches the heart of the one who cries to see Him, separating out the profane and dirty particles of fleshly desires and motives like dross polluting our offering. He purifies what He finds in us that cannot stand before the Father’s holy gaze. He never casts us into the purifying fire but walks hand in hand with us into the furnace until we shine like Him.
At times, the furnace has been adversity that left me reeling, staggering under the weight of circumstance I could not avoid. Through it, I learned to stand on the promises of His word and hold to nothing but His hand. That furnace has at times been heartache so intense that I thought I would surely be left a broken shell. Through it, I learned to set my heart on nothing but Him. But lately, the furnace has been one where I ask for His heart and He requires that I first give Him mine.
John records an account when Jesus sat down at a well outside Sychar while His disciples went to the marketplace to seek bread. A Samaritan woman came to draw water while He waited there, and before long was intrigued at His offer of Living Water that could satisfy her very soul. When Jesus replied, “Go, call your husband and come back here,” she denied having a husband at all. I can imagine Jesus had to smile a little when He told her that He knew all about her five husbands and the man who was sharing her bed currently. He had to deal with her heart problem before He could share anything deeper with this woman.
That is a lot like the furnace that He has drawn me to lately. I sit down and say, “Show me You. Let me see You, Lord.” Instead, he says, “First, let’s deal with your heart. Bring your motives, attitudes, and desires out here where I can look at them. Let them sit under the fire of My gaze for a little while.” I would like to tell you that He finds nothing that needs to be purified there when He looks, but the fire usually finds something that must be consumed. He loves me too much to leave me wrong, self-important and missing out on true value, judgmental and in danger of judgment. So His refiner’s fire begins consuming that dross so that He can answer my cry for intimacy.
I know it sounds painful, and sometimes it is. But is it worth the price of the refining to ask to see God? Absolutely. One day, the refining process will be complete and I will stand on the glassy sea in front of His throne, eyes wide open drinking in beauty on a divine scale. That one desire spurs me on. So today, I will dare to whisper again, “Give me a pure heart, Lord, I want to see You.”
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i also had another experience several years ago where i saw the light. I just wanted to go but i heard no voice just His marvelous love. i asked Him to take me. You can ask Jesus if this is true and He will tell you. keep writing dear sister Love Michelle xoxoxoxo