Encouragement
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We've all experienced those times of utter despair where we feel as though we're stuck in a deep, dark pit devoid of any light or any lifesaving rope thrown down to help us pull ourselves out. We feel powerless to change the situation, and at a complete loss for solutions. We may have even fallen so low that we feel suicidal. Some say that this is God's way of testing our faith by making us completely dependent upon Him. Whatever you believe, know that there is a way out -- know that there is hope.
A better life isn't going to happen instantly, but it can get better. We're accustomed to wanting everything to happen quickly. We want our Internet to be fast. We want our food delivered quickly. We want to lose weight in several weeks and keep it off forever. But it doesn't usually work that way. The same is usually true with a change in your life from hopeless to hopeful.
First, imagine a worst-case scenario. This may sound ridiculous, considering how bad your circumstances already are, but it can cast a ray of hope upon your situation. For example, there was a man who died in a car accident, and his wife was grieving his death. Her two sons were originally going to go with him that day, but cancelled at the last minute. Had they gone along, the situation could have been all the more tragic. That would have been a worst-case scenario.
Consider what you still have, rather than what you've lost. Write down an inventory, if you have to, of everything you still have. You may actually find yourself surprised by what you still have, rather than what you lack. This may give you an unexpected jolt of hope.
Think of all the strengths you've gained from hardship. This is not a way we would choose to get stronger, but try thinking of all of the difficulties that have forged your strengths. Every time we overcome an obstacle and every time we endure a hardship, it makes us stronger. Maybe your life circumstances have made you more understanding, compassionate or generous. Maybe you've cultivated patience, willpower, or perseverance. Reflect upon how your circumstances have strengthened you.
Pull yourself out of hopelessness by listing all of your accomplishments. When life hammers us with negative circumstances, we may start accusing ourselves of having done something terrible to deserve all of this bad luck. We may begin to doubt ourselves and feel as though our life has been a series of failures. Sift through that dark cloud and be proud of what you have accomplished in life.
If you need to cry, cry. Our society has instilled in us that crying is weak or wimpy and that instead, we just need to grit our teeth, pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, keep a stiff upper lip and carry on. Research, however, suggests that crying is a perfectly natural reaction to stress and grief, and that it has vast therapeutic merit. It's completely natural, it feels good -- as though a weight has been lifted -- and is ultimately good for you as a reaction to and release of hopelessness.
Most likely, you've encountered your share of obstacles in your life. How did you handle those situations? What was your response to those challenges? What did you do to forge your way through those problems? You've overcome thorny circumstances in the past -- and you can do it again. Search deep within yourself to find the power and bravery that have always been part of you.
Reframe new obstacles as challenges, rather than setbacks. People love challenges, as exemplified by such things as bungee jumping, mountain climbing and skydiving. Life itself is similar in some ways. You can surf the waves or get dragged down by the undertow. Bad things are often beyond our power to stop, but we don't have to let those incidents sap our energy or resign us to living our lives in hopelessness.
Search for the lesson in each incident. Things happen for a reason -- even bad things that seem pointless, purposeless and meaningless. Look for the lessons. Try to determine what lesson you are being taught by your present situation. The more you can identify the lessons taught by your current circumstances, the better you'll be able to understand why events are unfolding in the manner that they are, and determine their meaning.
Try envisioning your future self. Even though your current situation may appear hopeless, imagine yourself half a year, or even a year from now. Is your situation still as gloomy? Everything in our life is in a constant state of change, including ourselves. It can be hard to envision that things will get better, but with the passing of time, they will. Even situations that seems dire will eventually take a turn for the better. Present conditions that seem devoid of hope may actually be filled with hope months, weeks or even sooner. Just don't give up.
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