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The earth was without
form or void, and darkness
was upon the face of the
deep. [Genesis 1:2]
***********************
"It was a little depressing,
LORD. Plus I didn't like the main guy;
he was so unattractive. I couldn't understand
why that cute blond girl liked him in the
first place. She was really pretty, and he
was so skinny and wimpy-looking. Why do they
always make Christian evangelists, and
even Jesus, look so pale and sickly-looking,
and not very masculine? Couldn't they have
found a guy with some hair on his
chest?"
Sigh.
Patient Nod.
"I understand, My precious."
"Yeah! And, I was hoping the
handsome professor would get back
together with his girlfriend, although
I didn't think she was cute enough for
him, either."
Silence.
Up Above, a choir
of angels is singing for the
LORD; three of them are
off-key.
"And why didn't they have
a Jewish character: Ya know,
maybe like a real cynical
Jewish lady, with a great
sense of HUMOR?"
Paient Sigh.
"Oy vey z'mir,
Mein kin'der. That would
have taken up the whole
movie."
"And, the thing I didn't like
was that part about the
animal-activist not believing
in God, and trying to
trash one of those Duck Dynasty
guys!"
Patient Murmur.
"Hm. Hm."
Two of the angels, who are
singing off-key, get a decided
glare from the choir director.
Their names are Sylvestor,
and Briggund; both have
been commanded to afternoon
choir practice for two weeks;
they were recently grounded
from Warrior Flight due to a
slight squirmish they had
with one of the Lower-Level
Demons of the Third Quadrant,
in which Sylvestor lost his
halo, and Briggund lost
his Warrior Sword.
"Just because you're an
animal activist, doesn't
make you an atheist;
right, LORD?"
"I understand,
Mein kin'der. It was
just a movie."
The choir director, whose
name is Pianisimo, stops
directing, and marches
over to Sylvestor: demanding
him to take the chewing
gum out of his mouth.
Sylvestor stops chomping
on his bubble gum, midway,
and his big round eyes
get really big; he stares to the
left, and then to the right; then
he spits out the big wadded
glump of pink stuff into
Pianisimo's waiting hand.
Unfortunately, he blows
a big pink bubble at the
same time. The bubble-
stuff lands on Pianisimo's
stern face.
"Just because you're
against hunting, LORD,
doesn't mean that you're
not a CHRISTIAN!"
"I understand, My precious.
I understand."
Pianisimo marches back
to his place in front of
the Afternoon Choir Angels,
and picks up his director's
stick, once more. Pink
gobbly-gook is all over
his bulbous cheeks, and angelic
nose. Sylvestor has slumped
down beside his friend
Briggund: still standing, but
trying to hide behind
the really huge angel in front of him,
whose name is Guardisimo.
Guardisimo, whose regular
job is guarding one of
the Twelve Doorways to
the Throne Room, sings
even more off-key than
Briggund, and Sylvestor.
"And just cuz you hunt
doesn't make you a
Christian, LORD!"
Slow Nod. Patient Voice.
"I understand, Mein
kin'der."
Pianisimo suddenly sets
down his director's stick
again, and marches over to
Angel Briggund. He holds
out his hand: demanding
Briggund to take out the
big Hershey's chocolate
bar in his pocket and
hand it to him. Briggund
obeys; however, the
chocolate bar, which is
the kind with almonds,
has become warm and mushy
in the angel's gauzy gown
pocket, and becomes even
more melted in the choir
director's hand. Everybody
stops singing, and looks
over at Briggund and
Sylvestor, except Guardisimo
who has fallen asleep on
his bare footed-feet.
Pianisimo goes over and
shouts really sternly,
and loudly into Guardisimo's
big ear, and then tromps
back over to his director's
podium. He picks up
the director's stick once
more, and taps sharply
on the top of the podium,
shouting, 'AGAIN! FROM
THE TOP!'
"LORD?"
Patient Voice.
"What is it, My precious."
"I don't think You always
listen to me when I'm
talking! I'm telling You
about what I thought of
that movie!"
Nod. Sigh.
Briggund suddenly raises
his hand. Pianisimo stops
moving his director's stick,
mid-air, and shouts, 'What is
it, Angel Briggund?' The
angel asks to be excused for
a moment; he forgot to
feed his Basset Hound.
Pianisimo shouts that
dogs up in Heaven don't
get hungry, but Briggund
shouts back, in an off-key
whiny voice, that Bassie just
came from Earth, and
was still going through
culture-shock; then he looks
up and shouts to the Lord:
asking if he can
go get Bassie, and bring
him to choir practice along
with his kibble bowl.
The LORD Sighs, Frowns Patiently,
and then Nods.
Then He Speaks.
"I'm hearing every word,
child. I'm hearing every
word."
******************************
And God said, "Let there
be light
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