Emotional Affairs In Christian Homes
by M. J. Andre
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An emotional affair may not be about sex, but it is certainly an extramarital affair and youíre definitely looking for something. It is as powerful as a sexual affair and has the potential to destroy your marriage just as much. Some Christians are forced to live in marriages where emotional affairs are as easy as breathing. As a result, there is a lack of emotional contact because the one, who is doing the cheating, find the contact needed in their emotional affairs. Some experts believe and emotional affair is more damaging than a physical one. As you spend more time thinking, anticipating and fantasizing about someone else, your partner suffers the consequences of you not being able to connect with him or her. Not to mention the fact that the intimacy between the couple lessen considerably. The need for an emotional affair indicates that the marriage is in trouble, and it goes without saying, the more time spent from one emotional affair with the other, the situation between the couple is not being worked on.
If you are living an emotional affair you might kid yourself that there is no contact, but I have to ask, who exactly are you trying to convince? If you put it in the context of a Christian we have contact and intimacy with God in our mind, our thoughts, and our hearts, so while your bodies might not be touching in an exchange, you have certainly touched this person with your senses and to some extend you violate the person with your thoughts. And letís not kid ourselves into thinking only men have emotional affairs both men and women are likely to do it.
If you call yourself a Christian yet you find yourself living with what the Bible calls shameful lusts for years after years, then you belong to the group of people that probably have been living so much like fool that God had to give you over to your desires. I know men and women who find that it's perfectly okay to be given to emotional affairs while thinking they are walking with God. Sadly they find reasons to continue through reading the Bible. Well, it is understandable if you are reading the Bible to make it fit your lifestyle, I guarantee you that you will have no problem twisting Godís Word to make it suit your purposes, like Satan.
Nevertheless there will be a time where He will call you on your lies and your illusions. Donít be surprised if He asks you which Gospel where you living out? Living emotional affairs one after the other simply put you in the category of someone with a depraved mind, it is one of the things that God considers to be wickedness, evil, greed, depravity, arrogant, boastful and so on. It is evil because it is sin against God. It is arrogant because you are feeding your own ego. It is having a depraved mind because you have a deficiency when it comes to moral choices and a complete lack of integrity. You have no fear of God in your heart, no regards to your spouse or yourself for that matter. A depraved mind is perverted and corrupted. It is greed, because you are not content with the person God has placed in your care to look after with love, respect and dignity. And it certainly means that righteousness is not in you.
I know pastors and elders who give in to their basic instincts and allow themselves to live out this kind of deception, then instead of taking responsibility for their actions they blame the woman who has become the object of their affection. Often, they have something they exercise toward her that looks like hostility. They really buy into the idea that it is not their fault but the woman tempted them. Remember Adam tried that with God? "It was the womanís fault." However, God who can see the heart, motive and attitude knows better. If you are in such situation whatever your social standing in the Church, I encourage you to stop blaming someone else and take responsibility for your own sin. As you do, ask God to take you out of this bondage, and to put holy repentance in your heart that will change your behaviour toward Him, your spouse and your children. And if you have been practicing such deceptive behaviour for years while calling yourself a Christian, remember it is easy to say we are Christian, but that remain to be seen.
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