Hi Jan - my attempt:
Nature's Callousness
A frog's life, gone, and no one cared,
The pond was now still and lone,
Just tiny creatures who had shared,
A frog's life, gone, and no one cared.
The mate whose life the male had paired,
To new urges now was prone,
A frog's life, gone, and no one cared,
The pond was now still and lone.
Colin
Jan's Poetry Class--TRIOLET
Moderators: mikeedwards, RedBaron, glorybee, mikeedwards, RedBaron, glorybee, mikeedwards, RedBaron, glorybee
Steve, you make me laugh.
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Re: TRIOLET
Colin, what on earth inspired you to write about a frog? This is utterly charming (but a bit sad for poor froggy...)Colswann1 wrote:Hi Jan - my attempt:
Nature's Callousness
A frog's life, gone, and no one cared,
The pond was now still and lone,
Just tiny creatures who had shared,
A frog's life, gone, and no one cared.
The mate whose life the male had paired,
To new urges now was prone,
A frog's life, gone, and no one cared,
The pond was now still and lone.
Colin
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Hi Jan - I have a pond in my garden and my grandson loved to spot the frogs (and often pointed them out to us) we could never spot them. But sadly none have been around for awhile, but then my grandson is growing up and lives in a different part of the country and is now engaged - so we haven't got our spotter any more.
So we miss the frogs and the pond must be lonely without them - but we have plently of fish to look at (maybe I'll write about them next).
Colin
So we miss the frogs and the pond must be lonely without them - but we have plently of fish to look at (maybe I'll write about them next).
Colin
Colin Swann
Jesus’ love is constant and never wavers.
Jesus’ love is constant and never wavers.
OK, long enough. It was a trick question. They were both intended to be diberate double entendres/ambiguities for the reader.swfdoc1 wrote:swfdoc1 wrote: Did you take “willing” to mean “agreeable” or “exerting the will” or one of each?Any other takers before I reveal the answer?glorybee wrote:One of each, I think.
By the way, is it my imagination or have we had fewer triolet writers than writers of the other forms? Where are all the NaNo procrastinators?
Steve
nlf.net
________
"When the Round Table is broken every man must follow Galahad or Mordred; middle
things are gone." C.S. Lewis
“The chief purpose of life … is to increase according to our capacity our knowledge of God by all the means we have, and to be moved by it to praise and thanks. To do as we say in the Gloria in Excelsis ... We praise you, we call you holy, we worship you, we proclaim your glory, we thank you for the greatness of your splendor.” J.R.R. Tolkien
nlf.net
________
"When the Round Table is broken every man must follow Galahad or Mordred; middle
things are gone." C.S. Lewis
“The chief purpose of life … is to increase according to our capacity our knowledge of God by all the means we have, and to be moved by it to praise and thanks. To do as we say in the Gloria in Excelsis ... We praise you, we call you holy, we worship you, we proclaim your glory, we thank you for the greatness of your splendor.” J.R.R. Tolkien
This is the first one that's even slightly tricky, especially to poetry beginners. Maybe I've made it too challenging?
Or it could be the NaNo pressure.
Or it could be the NaNo pressure.
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I think you explained it very clearly. Could be NaNo or the form itself. Or maybe people are struggling with Yellow. Maybe we'll get more after tomorrow morning.glorybee wrote:This is the first one that's even slightly tricky, especially to poetry beginners. Maybe I've made it too challenging?
Or it could be the NaNo pressure.
Steve
nlf.net
________
"When the Round Table is broken every man must follow Galahad or Mordred; middle
things are gone." C.S. Lewis
“The chief purpose of life … is to increase according to our capacity our knowledge of God by all the means we have, and to be moved by it to praise and thanks. To do as we say in the Gloria in Excelsis ... We praise you, we call you holy, we worship you, we proclaim your glory, we thank you for the greatness of your splendor.” J.R.R. Tolkien
nlf.net
________
"When the Round Table is broken every man must follow Galahad or Mordred; middle
things are gone." C.S. Lewis
“The chief purpose of life … is to increase according to our capacity our knowledge of God by all the means we have, and to be moved by it to praise and thanks. To do as we say in the Gloria in Excelsis ... We praise you, we call you holy, we worship you, we proclaim your glory, we thank you for the greatness of your splendor.” J.R.R. Tolkien
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I'm lying in bed but I just cannot sleep
My mind fretting over the things to be done
A pause in my day but I'm not dreaming deep
I'm lying in bed but I just cannot sleep
My time is so precious; I don't count it cheap
If rested, I'd have strength for moments of fun
I'm lying in bed but I still cannot sleep
My mind wanders over the things to be done
I know you can relate, Jan. I wish I didn't have to take drugs to sleep at night. I didn't last night, so I get to be exhausted all day today. At least there's Starbucks!
My mind fretting over the things to be done
A pause in my day but I'm not dreaming deep
I'm lying in bed but I just cannot sleep
My time is so precious; I don't count it cheap
If rested, I'd have strength for moments of fun
I'm lying in bed but I still cannot sleep
My mind wanders over the things to be done
I know you can relate, Jan. I wish I didn't have to take drugs to sleep at night. I didn't last night, so I get to be exhausted all day today. At least there's Starbucks!
Jan, I've never studied/read/tried this form... and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it, the way it flows, the repeated message lines.
My poem (like all my poems) is a TRUE account. (ok, I grossly exaggerated that.) ... but this is true
Incessant pawing by the dog,
She needs to go outside.
Yet here I sit, my brain, a fog,
Incessant pawing by the dog.
Her wish, that to the door I'll jog,
Her urgency will not subside.
Incessant pawing by the dog,
She needs to go outside.
(...and without further delay, I'm headed to the door).
My poem (like all my poems) is a TRUE account. (ok, I grossly exaggerated that.) ... but this is true
Incessant pawing by the dog,
She needs to go outside.
Yet here I sit, my brain, a fog,
Incessant pawing by the dog.
Her wish, that to the door I'll jog,
Her urgency will not subside.
Incessant pawing by the dog,
She needs to go outside.
(...and without further delay, I'm headed to the door).
Beth LaBuff
..in these last days He has spoken to us by His Son... Hebrews 1:2
..in these last days He has spoken to us by His Son... Hebrews 1:2
High five to my insomnia sister! Really clever triolet, Leah!violin4jesus wrote:I'm lying in bed but I just cannot sleep
My mind fretting over the things to be done
A pause in my day but I'm not dreaming deep
I'm lying in bed but I just cannot sleep
My time is so precious; I don't count it cheap
If rested, I'd have strength for moments of fun
I'm lying in bed but I still cannot sleep
My mind wanders over the things to be done
Jan Ackerson -- Follow me, friend me, give me a wave!
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Oh, Beth, I hope you made it on time!beff wrote:Incessant pawing by the dog,
She needs to go outside.
Yet here I sit, my brain, a fog,
Incessant pawing by the dog.
Her wish, that to the door I'll jog,
Her urgency will not subside.
Incessant pawing by the dog,
She needs to go outside.
(...and without further delay, I'm headed to the door).
I'd love to see you do a chain of triolets for one of your charming story poems. Yes?
Jan Ackerson -- Follow me, friend me, give me a wave!
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We made it on time.glorybee wrote:Oh, Beth, I hope you made it on time!
That thought did cross my mind. It's a wonderful poetry form. I will keep it on a burner (maybe back, maybe front). We'll see!glorybee wrote:I'd love to see you do a chain of triolets for one of your charming story poems. Yes?
Beth LaBuff
..in these last days He has spoken to us by His Son... Hebrews 1:2
..in these last days He has spoken to us by His Son... Hebrews 1:2
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A golden bowl in twilight’s gleam
Reflects the day’s remaining life
A dying breed of sunlit streams
A golden bowl in twilight’s gleam.
With folded hands in evening dream
Forbid the night’s resurgent strife
A golden bowl in twilight’s gleam
Reflects the day’s remaining life
Henry C.
Reflects the day’s remaining life
A dying breed of sunlit streams
A golden bowl in twilight’s gleam.
With folded hands in evening dream
Forbid the night’s resurgent strife
A golden bowl in twilight’s gleam
Reflects the day’s remaining life
Henry C.
Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,... Col. 3:23
My Member Profile Page: http://www.faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=27052
My Blog: The Underside of Green: http://henryclemmonspoet.blogspot.com/
My Member Profile Page: http://www.faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=27052
My Blog: The Underside of Green: http://henryclemmonspoet.blogspot.com/
Henry, I need a recording of that, on a loop, to listen to in my insomniac hours. It's beautiful, serene, and well, just perfect.
Jan Ackerson -- Follow me, friend me, give me a wave!
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1. your first line (a)
2. your second line (b)
3. your third line (a) which rhymes with line 1
4. repeat of line 1
5. your fifth line (a) which rhymes with line 1
6. your sixth line (b) which rhymes with line 2
7. repeat of line 1 (a)
8. repeat of line 2 (b)
I will ever praise the Lord,
He has always been my guide.
Whether facing strife or sword,
I will ever praise the Lord.
He is worshiped and adored
Even when my path's not wide.
I will ever praise the Lord,
He has always been my guide.
I think I have some phrasing/sentence structure issues with this one.
2. your second line (b)
3. your third line (a) which rhymes with line 1
4. repeat of line 1
5. your fifth line (a) which rhymes with line 1
6. your sixth line (b) which rhymes with line 2
7. repeat of line 1 (a)
8. repeat of line 2 (b)
I will ever praise the Lord,
He has always been my guide.
Whether facing strife or sword,
I will ever praise the Lord.
He is worshiped and adored
Even when my path's not wide.
I will ever praise the Lord,
He has always been my guide.
I think I have some phrasing/sentence structure issues with this one.
Isaiah 40:30-31 (NIV)